This article is a transcript of the Weird World: The TV Show episode "The Ultimate Survival Game" from season two, which aired on May 22, 2020.
- (the episode starts with a view of a pile of board games and The Extraordinary Eight are playing a board game called "Wet Floors and Elevators")
More coming soon...
- Craig: There are three vital things to consider whilst playing this game.
- Bash: What?
- George Jacqueline: Well, first off - once you start the playing the game... you don't stop until it finishes.
- Tyler: OK, what's the second thing?
- George Jacqueline: Never know what to expect every time you play this game. It will throw ANYTHING at us.
- Craig: In some cases, it's literal.
- Sponghuck: You're kidding?
- George Jacqueline and Craig: We are not!
- Stephanie: What's the last thing?
- Craig: This is probably the most important thing. (picks up the box and reads the back) This game may cause: Seizures, heart attacks, nausea, anxiety, vertigo, PTSD, amnesia, paranoia, insomnia, parasomnia, hypersomnia, hypochondria, mass hysteria, delirium, depressive episodes, narcolepsy, mood swings, catatonic schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder and possible... death. Either due to the game itself OR due to felo de se because of the negative mental state you may get after or while playing it. We are not kidding - this game can kill you! The makers aren't responsible, don't sue. Please. Thank you.
- Scooter: Wait! Didn't you say you never even opened this game, let alone played or tested it?
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- George Jacqueline: So, who wants to go first?
- Scooter: I'll go first.
- Josie: *Clears throat* Ladies first.
- Bash: I think it should be "small people" first.
- Tyler: Well, I am the wisest.
- Craig: But you're not the most careful.
- Tyler: True.
- Stephanie: Guys, Craig was the one who created the game. So I think he should first.
- George Jacqueline: Yeah.
- Sponghuck: You're right.
- Bash: OK.
- Josie: Good idea.
- Craig: Yeah. I go first.
- George Jacqueline: I assisted in making it, so I'll go after Craig. Then... Sponghuck, you can go after me.
- Sponghuck: Fine.
- Bash: And I'll go after Sponghuck.
- Josie: Then it can be me.
- Scooter: Then me.
- Tyler: And then me.
- Stephanie: Guess that just leaves me.
- George Jacqueline: OK, that's settled. So without any further ado... let's start playing... *Creepy voice* The Ultimate Survival Ga...
- Sponghuck: What you knock it off with the creepy voice?!
- George Jacqueline: OK fine, let's just start. Craig, you're up!
- (Craig picks up the dice and shakes it)
- Josie: How will we know what to do?
- Craig: We'll explain the rules as we go along.
- (Craig throws the dice and it lands on 2)
- Craig: I got 2! (moves his piece two times and it lands a blue space)
- Scooter: OK, you landed on a blue space. What does that mean?
- Craig: I get three tokens, (picks up 3 tokens on puts them on his pile) then I have to take one of these blue 'Challenge' cards. (picks up a 'Challenge' card) You have to do some kind of challenge that's written on the card. Should you deny, fail or give up the challenge, you have to take one of these red 'Consequence' cards, which give you some kind of side effect, it can be good, it can be bad, it can be in the middle, it can be... whatever. So, for this particular challenge, I have to... *Reads* 'Stretch your upper eyelid to the back of your head'. No problem.
- (Craig stretches his upper eyelid to the back of his head)
- Craig: See? No problem.
- Stephanie: Eww.
- Sponghuck: There goes my good night sleep.
- George Jacqueline: My turn.
- (George picks up the dice)
- Stephanie: Wait, George there's a second dice here and we're only using one. Shouldn't we use both?
- George Jacqueline: In order to use the second dice, you have to make it to the halfway mark over there.
- (George points to the halfway mark of the game)
- Stephanie: Oh, OK.
- (George rolls the dice and gets a 3)
- George Jacqueline: Three. One, two, three. Darn, I got a red space.
- Bash: Is that bad?
- George Jacqueline: If you land on red, you LOOSE three tokens and you automatically gain a 'Consequence' card. (picks up a 'Consequence' card) OK, what do I get? *Reads* '1950s vision'.
- (George's vision is shown & everything is in black & white, in the style of the 1950s)
- George Jacqueline: Oh, I'm just seeing everything in black & white. That's not that bad... for now. Your go, Sponghuck.
- Sponghuck: Fine. Wait, what do you mean 'for now'? Whatever.
- (Sponghuck picks up the dice and rolls a 1)
- Sponghuck: Oh, goody. I got one move. (moves his piece on to a blue space) Blue space.
- Craig: Hey, well done! Not only do you get three tokens... (puts three tokens on Sponghuck's pile) but you also get an extra roll.
- Tyler: You get an extra turn for rolling a 1?
- Craig: Yes.
- Sponghuck: Well, then. OK!
- (Sponghuck rolls the dice again and rolls a 3)
- Sponghuck: 3! (moves his piece to another blue square)
- Craig: Three more tokens! (puts three tokens on Sponghuck's pile) Now, pick up a 'Challenge' card.
- Sponghuck: Alright. (picks up a 'Challenge' card) *Reads* 'Swallow whole an entire cheese wheel'.
- George Jacqueline: I'll get one.
- (George gets up and walks to the kitchen; his vision is shown again and there's a static; he walks into a wall)
- George Jacqueline: Ow. What the... That was strange.
- (George comes back with a cheese wheel)
- George Jacqueline: Here you go Sponghuck.
- Sponghuck: Thank you. OK, here we go...
- (Sponghuck picks up the cheese wheel and puts it in his mouth, then tries to push it in; he bites down & half of the wheel falls down; Sponghuck chews the rest and swallows it)
- Craig: Failure, Sponghuck! (eats the rest of the cheese)
- Sponghuck: Alright. Gimme a 'Consequence' card.
- Craig: Happy birthday. (hands Sponghuck a 'Consequence' card)
- Sponghuck: *Reads* 'Gain eyes on your hands'.
- (eyes pop up on Sponghuck's hands and he screams)
- Stephanie: I thought Sponghuck having four eyes was strange enough, but six?!
- Sponghuck: I don't blame you!
- Bash: Me next!
- (Bash tries to roll the dice, but throws himself and the dice)
- Josie: Nice roll, comedian.
- Scooter: Bash, you're meant to let go of the dice when you roll it.
- Bash: OK, OK. What did I get?
- (Bash looks at the dice and it appears to read 9)
- Bash: I got a 9!
- (George turns the dice around to show it actually says 6)
- Bash: I got a 6!
- (Bash moves his piece six places and lands on a space saying 'Consequence Hell')
- Bash: Consequence Hell? What does that mean?
- Craig: Everyone must take a 'Consequence' card.
- Stephanie, Tyler, Scooter and Josie: Bash!
- Sponghuck: I can't afford a second one!
- Bash: Sorry guys, that was an unintention.
- Stephanie: That is not a word.
- George Jacqueline: In this place it is.
- (George is holding a dictionary)
- Stephanie: *Sighs* Everyone grab a card.
- (Everyone picks up a 'Consequence' card)
- Tyler: *Reads* 'Cross-eyed'?
- (Tyler's pupils turn into crosses)
- Scooter: *Reads* 'Every time you sneeze, you'll get struck by lightning'? Wait I always... Uh oh... *Sneezes* Ha ha! Nothing happ...
- (Scooter gets struck by lightning and coughs; a lightning cloud is shown above him)
- George Jacqueline: *Reads* 'Bacon will grow around your head'.
- (bacon grows around George's head)
- George Jacqueline: Nice! (eats some bacon, then more grows in that same spot) And it's infinite.
- Bash: *Reads* 'You'll grow bigger'? (grows bigger) Yes! I'm no longer tiny!
- Sponghuck: *Reads* 'Spaghetti for hair'?
- (Sponghuck's hair turns into spaghetti & he takes his balaclava off to reveal it)
- Stephanie: *Reads* 'Become allergic to warmth'. I'm kinda warm now... (hives grow around her body) Ow! Ahh...
- Scooter: Hang on, Stephanie!
- (Scooter blows cold mist on Stephanie to relieve her hives)
- Stephanie: Ahh, that's much better.
- George Jacqueline: I'll turn the celling fan on.
- Josie: *Reads* 'Tilted head'?
- (Josie's head tilts and her skull falls on Sponghuck)
- Sponghuck: Ow!
- Stephanie: Craig, what did you get?
- Craig: Lemme see - *Reads* 'No consequences from this card. You're safe.'
- All: What?!
- (Scooter sneezes and gets struck by lightning)
- Craig: Looks I got one of the lucky ones.
- (Sponghuck grabs a cricket ball & slams it on Craig)
- Josie: Right, my go.
- (Josie tries to grab the dice; George hands it to her)
- Josie: Thanks.
- (Josie rolls a four and moves her piece and lands on a blue space, then picks up a card)
- Josie: *Reads* 'Absorb cranberry juice through your skin'.
- Scooter: You can use mine.
- (Scooter hands Josie his glass of cranberry juice)
- George Jacqueline: Josie can't do that. Sponghuck should have got that one.
- Josie: One second.
- (Josie takes off her jacket)
- Josie: Craig, could you lift up my top?
- (Craig lifts up Josie's top to expose her abdomen & is about to expose her chest)
- Josie: The back of my top.
- Craig: Oh.
- (Craig puts Josie's top down, then lifts up the back it to expose her back; then Josie pours the glass of cranberry juice on her back and she absorbs it)
- Josie: Ahh, that hit the spot.
- (everyone else looks in shock)
- Josie: What? You didn't know a frog could absorb liquid through it's skin?
- Stephanie: I didn't know you were a frog. To me, you always looked like the DNA love child of a slow loris and a tangerine.
- Josie: Rather large eyes, long fingers, (takes off one of her trainers to reveal her foot) webbed feet and also... *Croaks* That? Frog.
- Scooter: Right, my turn!
- (Scooter rolls the dice lands on 5)
- Scooter: Five. (moves his piece five spots and lands on a six-colour spot)
- George Jacqueline: Ooh. Scooter, you've landed on the Colour Skin Spin.
- Scooter: The what?
- George Jacqueline: Basically, you spin this spinner... (points to a spinner on the board)
- Scooter: OK! (spins the spinner which has six colours - red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple and it lands on green) Green! Now what?
- George Jacqueline: Erm... Depending on what colour it lands on, you're skin will...
- Scooter: (off screen) Ahh, green! (on screen) My skin's turned green! I look like a red onion!
- Stephanie: Erm... Red onions are red. Hence the name.
- Scooter: In that case, I look like a GREEN onion! What do I do?
- George Jacqueline: The only way you can turn back to normal, is to say any random word...
- Scooter: Starfish!
- George Jacqueline: ...as long as it's not "Starfish".
- Scooter: Oh, what happens if I say "Starfish"?
- George Jacqueline: Easy, you go to jail.
- Scooter: What?
- (Scooter gets handcuffed and the police appear out of nowhere)
- Lucas: You're under arrest, sir.
- Scooter: Hey! gets thrown into the police van and it drives to jail)
- (Scooter gets thrown into a jail cell)
- Scooter: At least I don't have a cell mate. No really, there's no one else in here. *Sneezes*
- (a lightning cloud is about to strike Scooter)
- Scooter: Uh oh...
- (cut back to the house)
- Tyler: Right, I'm next.
- (Tyler rolls a 3 and moves his piece that many places)
- Tyler: One, two, three. No!
- Craig: Sorry, Tyler.
- (Craig takes three of Tyler's tokens)
- Tyler: (picks up a 'Consequence' card) *Reads* 'Grow extra arms'. That doesn't seem that bad.
- (Tyler grows two extra arms)
- Tyler: See? (his arms wiggle strangely) What was that?
- (a portal appears and Scooter comes out of it)
- All: Scooter!
- George Jacqueline: Wait... how did you...?
- Scooter: My ice portals. And don't worry about the police trying to find me. I left a decoy in the cell.
- (cut to a paper mâché model of Scooter in the jail cell and some security guards walk past, then the decoy's arm falls off)
- Scooter: Nice arms, Tyler.
- Tyler: (his extra arms wiggle) Thanks.
- Stephanie: Right, I'm up! (rolls a 4 and moves that many places) Yes! (picks up three tokens and puts them on her pile, then picks up a Challenge card) *Reads* 'Make the grossest ice cream possible'. Hmm...
- (cut to Stephanie in the kitchen making ice cream and everyone else is watching)
- Craig: Hey Stephanie, what what are you putting in the ice cream?
- Stephanie: I added strawberries, white chocolate chips, a bit of mint...
- Scooter: That doesn't sound gross at all.
- Stephanie: ...garlic, white pepper, Dijon mustard...
- (everyone is starting to get grossed out)
- Stephanie: ...salami, blue cheese, root beer, cucumber and the grossest thing I could find - jellied eels.
- (everyone groans in disgust)
- Josie: You're seriously not gonna eat all that are you?
- Stephanie: Eww! No of course. Who'd want to eat this?
- Craig: I wouldn't mind it.
- Stephanie: Course YOU wouldn't Craig. Besides, the card didn't say I had to eat it.
- (Sponghuck is holding Stephanie's card)
- Sponghuck: Erm... I beg to differ, lass. I think your thumb was covering up some of the words. It says here *Reads* 'Make the grossest ice cream possible... AND eat it'.
- (Sponghuck shows Stephanie the card and shows exactly what he said)
- Stephanie: Oh.
- (cut to Stephanie holding a bowl of the ice cream she made)