The Muppets Go Under Cover transcript

Prologue: The musical number: God Bless the U.S.A.
Kermit and his Muppet friends are walking around down town in San Francisco.

Kermit: “Well, you guys, now that Constantine is back to where he belongs, it’s time for a musical number, hit it, everybody.”

[Music In Background]

Disney Presents:

Rizzo: “Oh, I’m so proud of de day I became an official U.S.A. citizen.”

The Muppets Go Under Cover

Gonzo: “That’s wonderful, Rizzo, I remember when I became an official U.S.A. citizen.”

Directed by James Bobbin

Walter: “I really love this country.”

Produced by Nicholas Stollar

Kermit: If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d work for all my life, and I had to start again, with just my children and my wife

Miss Piggy: I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today, ‘cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can’t take that away

Robin: and I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free

Bean: and I won’t forget the men who died who gave that right to me

Rowlf: and I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, ‘cause they’re ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A.

[Music Continues In Background]

Skeeter: “Where all people of all nations follow their dreams and life come true.”

Clifford: “An American meltin’ pot: Lew Zealand? Sam the Eagle? Scooter? all of you out here.”

Lew Zealand: from the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee, across the plains from Texas, from sea to shining sea

Sam: from Detroit down to Houston, from New York to LA, well there’s pride in every American heart and it’s time to stand and say

Scooter: and I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free

Rizzo: and I won’t fo’get de men who died, who gave dat right t’me

Marvin Suggs: and I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, ‘cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A.

Gonzo: “Keep going, everybody.”

Kermit and Muppet friends: and I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free, and I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me, and I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, ‘cause they’re ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A.

Walter: “Wow, Kermit, that was fantastic.”

Gonzo: “And super thrilling and incredible.”

Kermit: “Yep, and now that everything’s going good so far, let’s all take a nice long walk around Bob Hoskins Memorial Nature Park.”

They all follow Kermit in his lead.

Meanwhile at Constantine and Miss Poogy’s evil mansion………

Constantine: “So, Kermit and his Muppet friends have gotten back together again as always.”

Miss Poogy: “Yes indeed, now it’s time to formulate our evil plan.”

Constantine: “Good thinking, Poogy, now to go out there and capture Miss Piggy and bring her here to our evil mansion.”

Miss Poogy: “Then it’s time to go on out there.”

Scene 1: Bob Hoskins Memorial Nature Park
Kermit: “Isn’t this the life, you guys? the blue sky and clouds are beautiful, the mountain air is fresh and the trees and flowers are very lovely.”

Gonzo: “Wow, check out the John Denver Memorial Sanctuary and Nature Center.”

Walter: “Wow, so that’s what’s dedicated in John Denver’s memories.”

Fozzie: “It sure is though.”

Scooter: “Well, we’d better keep hiking, we don’t wanna be late for our show tonight.”

Skeeter: “And I’ve just been rehearsing long enough as it is.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends continue walking around on their nature hike ‘til evening time.

Dr. Teeth: “Hey come on, everybody, let’s get on the bus and head on down to the Muppet Theater.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends get on the Electric Mayhem bus and head on down all the way to the Muppet Theater.

The Muppet Theater
Kermit: “So you guys have everything prepared for our guest star tonight?”

Scooter: “Oh we sure do, boss.”

Fozzie: “We’ve got everything all prepared, the new logo, the lights and sounds and stage props.”

Rowlf: “And don’t forget the music collection.”

Kermit: “Right, good thing, Rowlf, Scooter, go check on our guest star, please.”

Scooter: “You got it, chief.”

Scooter goes right over to the guest star’s dressing room door.

Scooter: [Knocking On Door 5 Times] “(Guest Star’s Name), oh, (Guest Star’s Name), 19 2nds ‘til curtain, Mr. (Guest Star’s Last Name).”

Guest Star: “Thanks a bunch, Scooter, I’ll be with you guys in a jiffy.”

Scooter: “Well, you know what they say, what goes up-”

A toy dolphin falls right on the Guest Star’s desk.

Scooter: “Must come down.”

Cut to Kermit appearing through The All-New Muppet Show logo……

Kermit: “It’s The All-New Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Mr. Elijah Wood, yaaaaaaay!”

[The All-New Muppet Show Theme Tune In Background]

[Piano Music In Tempo]

Female Muppet friends: It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to meet the Muppets on The All-New Muppet Show tonight

Male Muppet friends: it’s time to put on make-up, it’s time to dress up right, it’s time to raise the curtain on The All-New Muppet Show tonight

Waldorf: why do we always come here?

Statler: I guess we’ll never know

Waldorf: it’s like some kind of torture

Statler and Waldorf: to have to watch the show

[Music Continues In Background]

Kermit: and now let’s get things started

Miss Piggy: why don’t you get things started

Kermit and Muppet friends: it’s time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational, this is what we call The All-New Muppet Show……

[Sounds Of A Tugboat Horn]

Kermit goes out onstage……….

Kermit: “Thank you everybody, and welcome to The All-New Muppet Show, we’ve got everything here that you’d really love to see, that’s right, it’s the annual awards ceremony party ‘cause tonight’s special guest star is Mr. (Guest Star’s Name), and that’s not all, he’s been in The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movie series and voice acting in Happy Feet, Happy Feet Two and Happy Feet Three, but 1st, here’s Fozzie to read the list of nominees for best Pigs in Space sketch number.”

Fozzie: “And now, here’s the list of the nominees for best Pigs in Space sketch number.”

Fozzie: [Voice-Over] Giant Meteor

Sketch number 1: Giant Meteor
Announcer: “And now it’s time for Pigs in Spaaaaace, starring Captain Link Hogthrob, 1st Mate Miss Piggy and the wise cracking scientific genius, Dr. Strangepork, where we last left our heroes aboard the Swine Trek.”

Link Hogthrob: “Well, it looks like another day ahead of us.”

1st Mate Piggy/Miss Piggy: “And it’s gonna be another day of Dr. Strangepork’s inventions.”

Dr. Strangepork: “Hey, check out my new invention, you guys, it’s the official Meteor Blaster 600, it can destroy any single meteor at every single size.”

1st Mate Piggy/Miss Piggy: “Fascinating.”

Link Hogthrob: “In fact, here comes a giant meteor right now!”

The camera zooms in on the giant meteor that’s approaching the Swine Trek.

Dr. Strangepork: “Not to worry about it, I’m gonna destroy it for good.”

Dr. Strangepork destroys the giant meteor with the Meteor Blaster 600.

Dr. Strangepork: “And that’s exactly how it works.”

1st Mate Piggy/Miss Piggy: “I agree to that.”

Link Hogthrob: “What a relief.”

Announcer: “Will Link Hogthrob ever take control of the Swine Trek? will 1st Mate Piggy ever keep her beauty looks? will Dr. Strangepork ever come up with new invention ideas? find out on the next exciting episode of Pigs in Spaaaaace.”

The camera zooms in on a young boy and girl kid watching the show on television.

Fozzie: [Voice-Over] Catapulting Egg-Splat

Sketch number 2: Catapulting Egg-Splat
Dr. Strangepork: “Check this out, you guys, the Electronic Cleaner 500, it can clean up mostly everything.”

Link Hogthrob: “How truly charming.”

1st Mate Piggy/Miss Piggy: “Heads up.”

Link Hogthrob: “Here comes a catapulting egg-splat.”

[Loud Splat Sounds!]

Dr. Strangepork: “Stand back, everybody, I know just what to do.”

Dr. Strangepork cleans away the egg yolk mess with the Electronic Cleaner 500.

Dr. Strangepork: “You know what they say, clean as you go.”

1st Mate Piggy/Miss Piggy: “That’s a relief.”

Cut back to Fozzie onstage…….

Fozzie: “And the winner for best Pigs in Space Sketch number is-”

Fozzie opens the envelope and finds out that Giant Meteor is the winner.

Fozzie: “Giant Meteor.”

[Audience Cheering Wildly]

Fozzie: “Piggy, Link and Dr. Strangepork, come on over here to accept your awards.”

Miss Piggy, Link Hogthrob and Dr. Strangepork come over to accept their awards.

Link Hogthrob: “Thank you all for letting all of us accept these awards.”

Miss Piggy: “Oh, yes, it was a most magnificent sketch number.”

Dr. Strangepork: “It’s a good thing that meteor didn’t destroy our Swine Trek.”

Swedish Chef: “Okey, next, here’s a Gunzo tu reed a zee leest of nomeenees fur best a Vetereenarian’s Hospeetal sketch noomber.”

Cut to Gonzo onstage reading the list of nominees for best Veterinarian’s Hospital sketch number……

Gonzo: “Here’s the list of nominees for best Veterinarian’s Hospital sketch number.”

Gonzo: [Voice-Over] Floyd as the patient

Announcer: “And now, Veterinarian’s Hospital, the continuing story of a quack, who’s gone to the dogs.”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “And so when I was takin’ a nice long walk on the beach, I looked between 2 big rocks and I found the biggest clam shell and thought it would make a real nifty music box.”

Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: “Oh, Dr. Bob, you and your clam jokes.”

Janice/Nurse Janice: “So, Dr. Bob, who’s our patient this time?”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “Behold, Nurse Piggy and Nurse Janice, observe and watch.”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob pulls back the corner of the green quilt to reveal Floyd as the patient.

Floyd: [Coughing A Bit] “Why did I ever get these ill conditions?”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “Hey, what happened to you here?”

Floyd: “Well, I was dustin’ the shelves at my house, and suddenly, I began developin’ these cough and sneeze attacks.”

Janice/Nurse Janice: “Oh bummer, that’s not a good situation.”

Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: “What you need to do is take plenty of liquids and pills and a lot of bed rest.”

Floyd: “Easy for you to say.”

Announcer: “Will Nurse Janice ever keep control with every single patient? does Nurse Piggy know what she’s doing? will Dr. Bob ever use his Dr. tools properly? tune in next week when you hear Nurse Piggy say-”

Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: “So, Dr. Bob, any word for this patient?”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “Well, Nurse Piggy, I say he’s very nauseated.”

Gonzo: [Voice-Over] Rizzo as the patient

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “I was walkin’ around in the park, and I heard a peculiar sound in the wilderness, it made the loudest screechin’ sound, and it turns out I found a chimpanzee.”

Janice/Nurse Janice: “Oh, Dr. Bob, you and your monkey jokes.”

Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: “So, Dr. Bob, who’s our patient for tonight?”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “Behold, here he is.”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob pulls back the corner of the green quilt to reveal Rizzo as the patient.

Rizzo: “My achin’ head.”

Janice/Nurse Janice: “Oh my gosh, Rizzo, how did this happen?”

Rizzo: “Well, I was readin’ a real good joke book and I was laughin’ my head off, when suddenly I got dis banana split headache.”

Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: “That’s a shame.”

Rowlf/Dr. Bob: “Here’s my advice to you: try using a lot of bed rest.”

Cut back to Gonzo onstage…….

Gonzo: “And the winner for best Veterinarian’s Hospital sketch number is-”

Gonzo opens the envelope and finds out that Rizzo as the patient is the winner.

Gonzo: “Rizzo as the patient.”

Rizzo steps right out onstage to receive his award.

Rizzo: “Oh I’m so proud to accept dis award, how can I evuh dank you guys enough fo’ dis?”

Kermit: “Well, Rizzo, we all like to congratulate you for winning that award.”

Dr. Teeth: “Well, we’re havin’ a real good time so far, but right now, let’s take an opportunity to present this awards ceremony party to the in memoriam section in honor and memories of the 1s we’ve lost back in 2013, 2014, 2015 and this year as well.

In Memoriam: 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016
Skeeter: When the mountain touches the valley

Jonathan Winters (1925-2013)

all the clouds are taught to fly

Jean Stapleton (1923-2013)

as our souls will leave this land most peacefully

Mildred Huxtetter: though our minds be filled with questions

Robin Williams (1951-2014)

in our hearts we’ll understand

when the river meets the sea

Miss Piggy: like a flower that has blossomed

Casey Kasem (1932-2014)

in this dry and barren sand

Robin: we are born and born again

Mickey Rooney (1920-2014)

Stan Freberg (1926-2015)

most gracefully

Wanda: plus the winds of time will take us

Alan Rickman (1946-2016)

with a sure and steady hand

David Bowie (1947-2016)

when the river meets the sea

End of segment…….

Fozzie: “And now, here’s Walter to read the list of the nominees for best Muppet Labs sketch number.”

Walter: “Here’s the list of nominees for best Muppet Labs sketch number.”

Walter: [Voice-Over] Pizza Popper 700 [Clock Ticking]

[Muppet Labs Theme Music In Background]

Bunsen: “Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, here at Muppet Labs where the future is being made today.”

(Brief Pause)

Bunsen: “That’s right, we’re testing out our new invention: the Pizza Popper 700.”

(Brief Pause) Bunsen: “Are you tired of waiting for a personal delivery or making all types of pizza in your kitchen oven? well, the Pizza Popper 700 is just the thing, which of course my faithful assistant, Beaker, will now demonstrate, (to Beaker) go ahead, Beaker, put a meatball green pepper pizza in here.”

Beaker: Mee, mee……

Beaker puts a meatball green pepper pizza in the Pizza Popper 700.

Bunsen: “Observe and watch what happens.”

Beaker is drumming his fingers on the lab table.

Bunsen: “And there you have it.”

The Pizza Popper 700 says done, and Beaker puts on some oven mitts, takes out the meatball green pepper pizza and suddenly, his head is turned into a beaker-shaped pizza head.

Beaker: [Shrieking And Meeping In Alarm]

Bunsen: “Oh my word, Beaker, what just happened to you?”

Beaker: “Mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mee!”

Bunsen: “Well, that’s all the time we have, so join us next time, at Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today.”

Walter: [Voice-Over] Automatic Water Shooter

Bunsen: “We’re testing out our greatest invention: the Automatic Water Shooter.”

(Brief Pause)

Bunsen: “Have your arms ever been tired from watering your plants and vegetables outside? well, the Automatic Water Shooter will be just the thing, which of course my faithful assistant, Beaker, will now demonstrate (to Beaker) go ahead, Beaker, give it a go.”

Beaker: “Mee, mo, mee, mo, mo, mee, mee.”

Beaker plugs in the Automatic Water Shooter.

Bunsen: “Watch what happens.”

Beaker steps right back and suddenly, water begins shooting out all over the place.

Beaker: [Meeping And Panicking In Alarm]

Bunsen: “Oh, Beaker, you’re looking quite wet back there.”

Cut back to Walter onstage……

Walter: “And the winner for best Muppet Labs sketch number is-”

Walter opens the envelope and finds out that Pizza Popper 700 is the winner.

Walter: “Pizza Popper 700.”

Bunsen and Beaker go out onstage to receive their awards.

Bunsen: “Oh what a truly wonderful evening this is turning out to be, we’re ever so grateful to win these awards.”

Beaker: “Mee, mo, mee, mee.”

Walter: “And now, here’s Scooter to sing and read the list of the nominees for best guest star appearance on The All-New Muppet Show.”

[Music In Background: To The Tune Of Modern Major General]

Scooter: There’s John, Emily, Matthew, Mindy and Neil, Zelda, Jason, Annie, Arsenio and Mallory, Ian, Taylor, Halle, Sean, Dakota, Hugh and Linda, Billy, Steven, Joan, Patrick and Cameron, there’s Johnny, Queen, Denis, Meryl, Bill and David, Sophia, Ray, Sally, Kel and Jane, there’s Joe, Reese, Ricky and Tina, there’s Tom and Phyllis and there’s Josh, Betty, Tim and Avril (brief pause), Jim, Julia and Nathan, then Anne and Owen and Ellen too (brief pause again) and Robert, Amy, Ben and Alec, Glenn, Elijah, Whoopi, Eugene and Mandy, Jamie and Wanda, they were good and last but not least are Will and Steve….

[Music Ends]

Guest Star: “Thanks a bunch, Scooter.”

The Guest Star takes the envelope gently from Scooter’s right hand.

Guest Star: “And the winner is-”

The Guest Star opens the envelope and finds out that he’s the winner.

Guest Star: “Me, best known for my acting career in The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movie series and my voice acting career in Happy Feet, Happy Feet Two and Happy Feet Three.”

Kermit: “Alright, way to go, (Guest Star’s 1st name).”

Cut to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony……….

Waldorf: “You know, Statler, I was hoping 1 of them might come back somehow.”

Statler: “Well, so did I!”

Statler and Waldorf: [Laughing Uncontrollably]

It’s now the closing introduction……

Kermit: “Thank you all for coming here tonight, you’ve all been such a wonderful audience, but right before me and my good friends head on down to the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel, let’s all give a nice warm welcome for Mr. (Guest Star’s Name), yaaaaaay!”

The Guest Star arrives out onstage.

Guest Star: “Thanks a bunch for having me here, it’s so thrilling being on the show with you guys tonight.”

Scooter: “So, (Guest Star’s 1st Name), you still got 1 more award to give to somebody?”

Guest Star: “Of course I do, Scooter, and it’s right here in this envelope.”

Zoot: “Go ahead, man, tell all of us.”

Guest Star: “And the winner for best television show host is-”

The Guest Star opens the envelope and finds out that Kermit, himself is the winner.

Guest Star: “Kermit, himself.”

Kermit accepts his award…….

Kermit: “Alright, thanks a bunch you guys, I’m super excited about this, but we’ll see you next time on The All-New Muppet Show.”

[The All-New Muppet Show End Credits Music In Background]

Kermit and his Muppet friends are now walking around outside the theater and are now back on the Electric Mayhem bus.

Kermit: “Well, that sure was a good show, you guys.”

Miss Piggy: “It sure was.”

Gonzo: “Oh boy, I can hardly wait to spend the entire night at the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel.”

Bean: “So can I.”

Mildred Huxtetter: “It’ll be such a lovely hotel.”

Skeeter: (to the Swedish Chef) “Good thing you won’t be cooking any dinner meals tonight.”

Swedish Chef: “Nu need tu vurry aboot a me, yooo a just a need tu cull a rum serveece.”

Lips: “Now that’s a relief.”

Pepe: “Si, I’d say to that 1, okay.”

Chip: “What a good vacation trip this is turning out to be.”

Flash: “I agree with you here, Chip.”

The Electric Mayhem bus stops right at their destination.

The Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel
Kermit: “Well, here we are, gang, the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel.”

They all go inside the hotel.

Pops: “Hello and welcome to the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel, how can I help you guys here?”

Kermit: “Well, we would like to rent some nice bedrooms here.”

Pops: “Okay, bedrooms you get, follow me, I’ll lead you to them.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends follow Pops over to where their hotel bedrooms are located.

Pops: “Well, here you are, just take your time deciding where to stay overnight.”

Pops leaves to go back to his desk.

Kermit: “Well, you guys, now that we’re all here, let’s all decide who’s gonna get which bedroom.”

Fozzie: “Hey, I got it, Kermit, you, Gonzo and I are gonna sleep in bedroom number 231.”

Gonzo: “You got it, Fozzie.”

Scooter: “Lew Zealand and I are gonna sleep in bedroom number 232.”

Lew Zealand: “Good idea, Scooter.”

Skeeter: “Piggy, Mildred and I are gonna sleep in bedroom number 233.”

Miss Piggy: “Good idea.”

Mildred Huxtetter: “How splendid.”

Robin: “Rizzo, Pepe, Bean and I are gonna sleep in bedroom number 234.”

Rizzo: “Well, Robin, I agree wid you here.”

Pepe: “Si, so do I.”

Bean: “Me too.”

Gonzo: “And Camilla’s gonna sleep in her nice comfortable nest in bedroom number 235.”

Camilla: [Clucking In Agreement]

Kermit: “Then it’s all settled, let’s unpack our things in our bedrooms.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends are now unpacking their things in their hotel bedrooms.

Kermit: “Okay, everybody, we’ve got all of our things unpacked and put away for tonight.”

Skeeter: “Hey, Scooter, what time is it?”

Scooter looks at his digital watch.

Scooter: “Well, Skeeter, it’s 5:39 PM, so it’s getting close to dinner time.”

Kermit: “That’s exactly right, let’s all try to decide on what to order for dinner tonight.”

Rowlf: “Hey, I got it, how ‘bout we order somethin’ from Pizza Cabin?”

Rizzo: “What a good idea, Rowlf.”

Kermit: “Right, let’s plan our pizza order, everybody.”

Fozzie: “Alright, Kermit, you and I would like a pan tossed pizza with green peppers on it.”

Kermit: “Okay, green peppers it is, what kind of pizza do you want, Scooter?”

Scooter: “Skeeter and I would like the plain 4 cheese pizza, thin crust.”

Kermit: “Alright, plain 4 cheese it is, Animal, what kind of pizza would you like?”

Animal: “Pepperoni and meatballs.”

Kermit: “Okay, pepperoni and meatballs it is, what do you suggest, Walter?”

Walter: “I would like a side order of mild buffalo wings for me, Rizzo and Animal to share.”

Rizzo: “Dat’s a good idea, Waltuh, I like buffalo wings wid ranch dressin’.”

Animal: “So do I.”

Kermit: “Alright, everybody, we’ve written down your pizza orders, so let’s call Pizza Cabin on the wireless telephone right away.”

Kermit goes over to the wireless telephone and dials 346-597-6531.

[Wireless Telephone Ringing]

Harold, the Pizza Cabin manager on the other hand, picks up the other wireless telephone.

Harold: (on the other wireless telephone) “Hello? how can I help all of you?”

Kermit: (on the wireless telephone) “Oh hello, Harold, Fozzie and I would like a pan tossed pizza with green peppers, Scooter and Skeeter would like a plain 4 cheese thin crust pizza, animal wants pepperoni and meatballs and Walter and Rowlf want a side order of mild buffalo wings with ranch dressing.”

Harold: (on the other wireless telephone) “Okay, I got all of you guys covered, 1 of my delivery men will deliver them to all of you right away in a jiffy.”

Kermit: (on the wireless telephone): “Okay, good idea.”

Kermit hangs up the wireless telephone.

Kermit: “Okay, you guys, I just had a good talk with Harold, the Pizza Cabin manager, he said our dinner order will be here in just an hour and ½.”

Gonzo: “Now we don’t need to worry about cooking anything at all.”

Miss Piggy: “Now to sit back and relax while we wait.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends set the hotel dining room table with paper plates, paper bowls and plastic silverware in the hotel dining room.

Later on, a blue Delivery Whatnot arrives with their dinner order in the Pizza Cabin delivery truck.

Delivery Whatnot: “Well, congratulations, Muppet friends, your dinner orders are here.”

Kermit accepts their dinner orders.

Kermit: “Wow, thanks a bunch, we’ve been waiting for these.”

Delivery Whatnot: “Anytime, Kermit, have a good evening.”

Kermit: “Okay, you too.”

The Delivery Whatnot leaves and Kermit closes the front door.

They all set out their dinner orders and begin enjoying them. Sam’s dinner meal is a garden salad with fresh spinach, butter-crunch lettuce, slices of cherry tomatoes, carrot coins and cucumbers mixed right into it.

Miss Piggy: “So, Kermit, what do you think? do you think you and I should be married to 1 another real soon?”

Kermit: “Why sure, Piggy, in fact, I’ve always been your knight in shining armor.”

Janice: “This is truly like, the best evening of our entire lives.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends are now enjoying their dinner meals, and they later have their dessert special meals, then eventually play Muppets Most Wanted: The Video Game, and later get into their pajamas and go right to bed.

Kermit and his Muppet friends are now asleep in their hotel bedrooms.

The very next morning, right after breakfast and getting themselves for their big day ahead of them, they all play arcade video games in the game room, and Kermit and Miss Piggy check out a How to Plan a Wedding Party book in the library room and they all go out for a nice long walk in the San Francisco city streets.

Kermit: “Well, you guys, now that Piggy and I have checked out our How to Plan a Wedding Party book in the library room, this is turning out to be the most perfect day of our entire lives.”

Clifford: “It’s a good thing there are no traps lyin’ about.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends continue walking around, when suddenly, they stop right by a peculiar rope trap.

Clifford: “Oh man, I should’ve known this was gonna happen.”

Scooter: “I wonder who would do such a thing like that.”

Constantine: (off screen) “You call that a very long way?”

Kermit: “Constantine?!? Miss Poogy?!?”

Walter: “What are you guys doing here?!?”

Miss Poogy: “We’re here to capture and kidnap 1 of you here.”

Miss Piggy: “Not so fast, you creepy thugs!”

Miss Piggy is about to do her kung-Fu karate kick, but is stopped in mid-air.

Constantine: “Throw the rope down on her, Poogy.”

Miss Poogy: “You got it.”

Miss Piggy: “What the-”

Miss Poogy throws the rope down at Miss Piggy, and they capture and kidnap her, personally.

Miss Piggy: “Get me outta here, get me outta here!”

Constantine and Miss Poogy drive off back to their mansion with the now kidnapped Miss Piggy in the back of their golden car.

Kermit: “Come back here with my future wife, you scoundrels!”

Gonzo: “Which way did they go?”

Kermit: “They went that way, follow me, everybody!”

Kermit and his Muppet friends follow the path on their way to rescue Miss Piggy from Constantine and Miss Poogy’s evil clutches.

Walter: “Hey look, there’s Super Spy James, maybe he can help all of us.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends walk around over to Super Spy James and ask him for help and advice.

Super Spy James: “Yes? can I help you guys here?”

Kermit: “Super Spy James, Piggy’s been kidnapped by Constantine and Miss Poogy, so do you have anything that can help all of us on our rescue mission?”

Super Spy James: “Why sure, Kermit, I certainly have the most perfect gear you guys need.”

Super Spy James gives Kermit and his Muppet friends super spy agent weapons.

Gonzo: “Wow, thanks a bunch.”

Super Spy James: “Anytime, Gonzo, anytime.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends get into their super spy agent outfits and gear.

Kermit: “Come on, you guys, to that evil mansion we go!”

Kermit and his Muppet friends continue their mission quest and make it all the way to Constantine and Miss Poogy’s evil mansion.

Constantine and Miss Poogy’s evil mansion
Kermit: “Well, here we are, gang.”

Scooter: “Oh my gosh, I don’t believe this.”

Janice: “That’s like, the mansion of Constantine and Miss Poogy.”

Floyd: “Piggy’s in that terrible place.”

Rizzo: [Teared Up] “Oh I don’t like t’dink about her in dere, we need t’get her outta here.”

Fozzie: “Hey, don’t weep right now, Rizzo, we haven’t gotten a soft cloth with 1 of us and you’ve been all choky for days and nights.”

Kermit: “Exactly right, now does anybody have a plan of their own?”

Scooter: “Oh I sure do, follow me, everybody, and we can all sneak right in through that open window over there.”

Kermit: “Okay, you guys heard Scooter, let’s follow him right through that open window, everybody.”

Kermit and his other Muppet friends follow Scooter right through the open window and they’re now inside the evil mansion.

Kermit and his Muppet friends walk around and Fozzie and Walter notice some cookie jars on the shelves.

Fozzie: “Wow, look at all of those cookie jars.”

Walter: “Let’s just be lucky Cookie Monster’s not going near any of them.”

Kermit: “Let’s keep going, you guys.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends walk around ‘til they hear a peculiar muffled shriek.

Miss Piggy (off screen): [Muffled Shriek In Fear]

Kermit: “Hey, that sounds exactly like Piggy!”

They all look around to see that she’s been tied to a wooden pole.

Skeeter: “Oh my gosh, look, she’s tied to that wooden pole!”

Mildred Huxtetter: “I don’t believe this!”

Wayne: “What a calamity!”

Wanda: “We’d better try to get her down from there, right before it’s way too late!”

Kermit: “Alright, everybody, let’s put out some traps right before Constantine and Miss Poogy show up.”

Scooter: “You got it, Kermit.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends set out red circle traps for when Constantine and Miss Poogy arrive.

Kermit: “Alright, now we’re all prepared.”

Miss Poogy: (off screen) “So, you think you guys are all prepared, right?”

Constantine: “You guys thought you could trap both of us and rescue Piggy from this pole?”

Miss Poogy: “Well stay away from her, or you’re gonna get it.”

Gonzo: “Enough of this nonsense, you’re not holding her in captivity any longer!”

Kermit: “Gonzo’s absolutely right, you guys aren’t getting away with it anymore!”

Constantine: “Oh yeah? well, what are you gonna do about it?”

Clifford: “Now, guys!”

Kermit and his Muppet friends use their super spy agent moves on the red circles and some ropes tie up Constantine and Miss Poogy, so they won’t move around.

Constantine: “Hey, what gives?!?”

Miss Poogy: “Why are we all tied up?!? you’re gonna regret this!”

Kermit: “Nice work, you guys, now let’s get up to Piggy and untie her from that pole.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends go right up to Miss Piggy, who’s still tied up and Kermit removes the duct tape from Miss Piggy’s Mouth and is about to untie her from the rope.

Miss Piggy: “Oh, Kermit, I’m so thrilled to see you and our good friends again!”

Kermit: “So are we, Piggy, now let’s get you outta here.”

Kermit unties Miss Piggy from the rope and they all bring her down from captivity.

Kermit: “Okay, Piggy, knock them out real cold.”

Miss Piggy: (turning over to Constantine and Miss Poogy): “Alright, you asked for it, hii-yah!”

Miss Piggy kung-Fu karate chops Constantine and Miss Poogy and knocks them out real cold.

Kermit: “Nice job, Piggy, now let’s take them over to the police department and arrest them immediately.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends tie up the knocked out Constantine and Miss Poogy and bring them over to the police department.

Inside the police department
Officer Thompson: “Yes? can we help you out here?”

Kermit: “We’d like for you guys to arrest Constantine and Miss Poogy and bring them all the way to the jail tower.”

Officer Johnson: “Okay, we’ll have these 2 arrested at once.”

Walter: “Oh good, what a relief.”

Officer Thompson and Officer Johnson arrest Constantine and Miss Poogy and take them all the way to the jail house.

Kermit: “Alright, we did it, we arrested the 2 Muppet villains!”

Beauregard: “Now let’s all get ready to prepare for that wedding service party at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.”

Kermit: “Good thinking, Beauregard, I’ve invited everybody from Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, Frog Town Hollow, Tales from the Bunny Picnic and the Big Blue House to mine and Piggy’s wedding service party.”

Rizzo: “Oh dat’s good.”

Gonzo: “Well? what are we waiting for? let’s go.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends head on down to St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

Inside St. Patrick’s Cathedral
Kermit: “Okay, you guys, this place looks empty, we need the decorations, the wedding flowers and a wedding ring and a wedding pillow.”

Fozzie: “And the wedding cake, let’s not forget about the wedding cake.”

Walter: “Come on, you guys, let’s get decorating.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends decorate the entire cathedral for Kermit and Miss Piggy’s wedding service party while the Swedish Chef prepares the wedding cake in the kitchen.

Everything is now prepared.

Kermit: “Well, gang, we’ve got everything prepared for mine and Piggy’s wedding party.”

Scooter: “Good thing we’ve got ourselves wedding clothes.”

Skeeter: “And nice wedding outfits for the bride and the groom.”

Kermit: “Well, you guys, let’s all get suit up and prepared.”

Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Walter, Clifford, Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Zoot, Rowlf, Lips, Flash, Johnny, Sal, George, Robin and Wayne go right into the young men’s changing room to change into their tuxedos while Kermit changes into a groom’s outfit in a private stall and Miss Piggy changes into her white wedding dress in the young women’s changing room in a private stall while Janice, Camilla, Yolanda, Mildred Huxtetter, Skeeter, Wanda and Annie Sue Pig change into their beautiful wedding service party outfits.

Meanwhile during the wedding service party.

Groom’s side aisle

The All-New Muppet Show and All-New Muppets Tonight gang members: Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Walter, Clifford, Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Zoot, Rowlf Lips, Flash, Johnny, Sal, George, Robin and Wayne

Sesame Street gang members: Ernie, Bert, Elmo, Grover, Big Bird, Snuffy, Telly, Baby Bear, Cookie Monster, Count Von Count, Farley, Sherlock Hemlock, Herry, Frazzle, Don Music, Guy Smiley, Sonny Friendly, Stuie, Furline Husky and Placido Flamingo

Fraggle Rock gang members: Gobo, Wembley and Boober

Frog Town Hollow members: Emmett, Ma Otter, Melissa, Doc Bullfrog, Stanley and Yancy The Tale of the Bunny Picnic members Lugsy (Bean’s brother)

Bear in the Big Blue House gang members: Bear, Treelo, Tutter, Ojo, Pip and Pop

Bride’s side aisle

The All-New Muppet Show and All-New Muppets Tonight gang members: Janice, Camilla, Yolanda, Skeeter, Mildred Huxtetter and Annie Sue Pig

Sesame Street gang members: Zoe, Prairie Dawn, Rosita and Abby Cadabby

Fraggle Rock gang members: Red and Mokey

Kermit is standing right by the alter, waiting for Miss Piggy to show up.

Elmo: “Are they here yet? did Elmo miss them? are we late?”

Grover: “No, Elmo, they’ll be here any single minute.”

Cookie Monster: “Oh boy, me so excited, me can hardly wait.”

Lew Zealand: “Isn’t this super exciting?”

Big Bird: “It’s the wedding service party of the year.”

Herry: “Don’t you think we can begin without them?”

Sam: “No we can’t, not ‘til they arrive.”

(Brief Pause)

Farley: “Hey look, here comes Piggy right now.”

Rosita: “Dios, mio, look at them.”

[Wedding March Intro On Pipe Organ]

Miss Piggy is walking right up the aisle and stops right by where Kermit is waiting.

Annie Sue Pig is the flower girl and Robin is the ring bearer.

Reverend Jackson shows up to give his wedding speech.

Reverend Jackson: “Good afternoon, everybody.”

All San Francisco citizens and Muppet friends: “Good afternoon.”

Reverend Jackson: “We’re all here this afternoon to celebrate the marriage of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, the 2 most romantic couples who have known 1 another for very many years.”

Ma Otter: “Sounds very lovely indeed.”

Emmett: “It sure does.”

Reverend Jackson: “Now right before we wed these 2, 1 of them would like to say a few words to 1 another, so, Kermit, you go 1st.”

Kermit: “Oh gee, where do I begin? [Clears Throat] Piggy, I would never break up with you, you’ve always been very beautiful, talented, brave and clever, and we’ll never be separated no matter what happens.”

Reverend Jackson: “Good, Kermit, very good, Piggy, you’re next.”

Miss Piggy: “Kermit, you’ve always been so good to me in our kind years, you’re very smart, intelligent, talented and a very skilled performer, and I’ll never leave you alone no matter where you go.”

Reverend Jackson: “Nice job, Piggy, now, do you, Kermit, take Piggy to be your lawful wedded wife?”

Kermit: “Yes, I do.”

Reverend Jackson: “And do you, Piggy, take Kermit to be your lawful wedded husband?”

Miss Piggy: “Yes, I do, of course I do.”

Reverend Jackson: “Then from this day on, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Kermit and Miss Piggy finally marry 1 another and Robin gives Miss Piggy the wedding ring and the married couple walk around down the aisle while Annie Sue Pig is throwing flower petals down the aisle.

[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Hobo Joe: “I knew they would get married somehow.”

Gobo: “I agree with you here.”

Wembley: “Especially since they’ve been together as always.”

Later, during the wedding service party sit-down………

Wedding DJ: “And now, it’s time for Rowlf’s karaoke rendition of What a Wonderful World, in honor of Kermit and Piggy’s marriage.”

Rowlf goes up to the karaoke machine.

[Click!]

[What A Wonderful World On Karaoke Machine]

Rowlf: 'I see trees of green red roses too I see them bloom for me and you and I think to myself what a wonderful world'

Rowlf (continued): I see skies of blue

the clouds of white

'the bright blessed days the dark sacred night and I think to myself what a wonderful world'

Rowlf: the colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky of all so many faces of people goin’ by I see friends shakin’ hands sayin’ how do you do? they’re really sayin’ I love you

Rowlf (continued): I hear babies cry, I watch them grow they’ll learn much more, then you’ll ever know and I think to myself what a wonderful world yes I think to myself what a wonderful world

Rowlf turns off the karaoke machine.

Wedding DJ: “Okay, everybody, get on the disco dance floor, it’s time for Piggy and her father to have a very special dance between both of them, along with Kermit and his mother.

Miss Piggy’s father: “Piggy? are you ready for this?”

Miss Piggy: “Yes, of course I am.”

[Slow Touching Music In Background]

Kermit’s Mother: “You know, Kermit, I’ve always been proud of yours and Piggy’s romantic relationship.”

Kermit: “Why thanks a bunch, Ma, I appreciate it and so does Piggy.”

Later, while everybody’s leaving, Kermit and Miss Piggy are going on their honeymoon, such as bowling, going out for nature walks and having a relaxing picnic spot at the beach as a now married couple.

Kermit, Miss Piggy, Kermit’s Mother and Miss Piggy’s parents are now running around the fields, but Miss Piggy stops for just 1 minute.

Kermit: “Piggy? are you alright?”

Miss Piggy: “Oh, yes, Kermit, it’s just that it’s difficult since I’m pregnant.”

Kermit: “Pregnant?!? that means we’re gonna become parents to a little pink frog son or a little green pig daughter!”

Miss Piggy’s Mother: “And we’re gonna become grandparents.”

Janice: “And I’m like, gonna be a godmother.”

Scooter: “Okay, everybody, to San Francisco Memorial Hospital.”

Animal: “Hospital, hospital!”

Inside San Francisco Memorial Hospital

Miss Piggy is now in labor, while Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Walter, Scooter, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Janice, Floyd, Zoot, Animal, Wayne, Wanda, Mildred Huxtetter, Annie Sue Pig, Sweetums, Robin, Bean, Pepe, Rizzo, Skeeter, Beautiful Day Monster, Sam, Emily, Beauregard, Bunsen, Beaker, Kermit’s Mother, Miss Piggy’s Mother and Miss Piggy’s Father are sitting around in the waiting room.

Kermit: “Well, you guys, my wife’s in labor and I don’t know whether the baby’s gonna be a little pink frog boy or a little green pig girl.”

Fozzie: “This is taking longer than I thought it would be.”

Gonzo: “Just wait ‘til their new son or daughter begins saying a few words, he or she would be all over the place.”

Walter: “Let’s just wait and find out when Dr. Benson arrives.”

Scooter: “Good thinking, Walter.”

Rowlf: “You know what they say, babies and younger kids take a very long time to keep in control.”

[Clock Ticking]

A few minutes later, Dr. Benson shows up to tell them the good exciting news.

Dr. Benson: “Kermit? I’ve got some very good exciting news for you and your wife.”

Kermit: “Well? what’s the good exciting news, Dr. Benson?”

Dr. Benson: “Well, when I looked around, I saw a little pink frog boy and a little green pig girl.”

Kermit: “Wow, this is very exciting, Piggy and I now have a little twin son and daughter, let’s go into Piggy’s hospital room, everybody!”

Sweetums: “Oh boy, I can hardly wait to meet both of them.”

Robin: “So can I, especially my cousins, Andy and Randy.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends, along with his and Miss Piggy’s 3 nephews: Robin, Andy and Randy go right into Miss Piggy’s hospital room.

Miss Piggy: “Oh, Kermit, Robin, Andy, Randy, you’re all here.”

Kermit: “Everybody, let’s all give Piggy and our twin son and daughter a little bit of breathing room, please.”

Miss Piggy: “Andy? Randy? Robin? say hello to your new twin cousins.”

Robin: “Sure thing, Aunt Piggy.”

Robin: “Hi there, uh-”

Randy: “What are their names?”

Miss Piggy: “Oh, we haven’t even decided yet.”

Bean: “Hey, I’ve got an idea: how ‘bout we name the little pink frog Toby?”

Rowlf: “And the little green pig Bethany?”

Kermit: “Okay, Toby and Bethany it is.”

Kermit turns over to his Muppet friends and 3 nephews.

Kermit: “Everybody, meet our son, Toby.”

All Muppet friends (including Robin, Andy and Randy): “Wow!”

Miss Piggy: “And our daughter, Bethany.”

Robin: “Hi there, Toby and Bethany, I’ve prepared a nice little speech for this occasion.”

Robin: [Clears Throat] “On behalf of our Uncle Kermit, our Aunt Piggy and our good friends, we’d like to welcome you to the Muppet Family Boarding House when we get back home, and I’d like to present to both of you with this picture drawing I made of The All-New Muppet Show logo, here you go.”

Robin gives his picture drawing of The All-New Muppet Show logo to Toby and Bethany and they smile in delight.

Kermit: “Alright, everybody, let’s take Toby and Bethany home with all of us.”

Janice: “That’s right, Kermit, we wanna show my god-kids everybody in San Francisco.”

Scene 2: Outside the Muppet Family Boarding House The gang members from other Muppet television production shows are standing around waiting for the others to return.

Baby Bear: “This is vewy exciting.”

Telly sees Kermit, Miss Piggy (along with Toby and Bethany) and the other Muppet friends.

Telly: “They’re here, they’re here, the new baby pink frog and baby green pig are here, Ernie, Bert, come out here, Big Bird, Snuffy, Count Von Count, Farley, Grover, Herry, Frazzle, come out here, Gobo, Wembley, Boober, Red, Mokey, come out here, Emmett, Alice, come out here, Lugsy, Bear, Treelo, Tutter, Ojo, Pip and Pop, come out here!”

They all come out from their places.

Robin: “Alright, hold it, everybody, let’s all give Toby and Bethany a little breathing room, ‘cause remember, they’ve never seen any of you guys before.”

Herry: “Wow, Toby and Bethany, what good names.”

Robin: “And guess what, Herry? we named them?”

Herry: “Hey, Toby and Bethany.”

Robin: “Toby and Bethany, Herry is a blue monster from Sesame Street.”

Herry: “Who’s the little pink frog and the little green pig? who’s the little pink frog and the little green pig?”

Robin: “Anybody wanna say hello to Toby and Bethany?”

Snuffy: “I do.”

Snuffy walks right over to Toby and Bethany.

Snuffy: “Hi there, Toby and Bethany, I’m Snuffy.”

Robin: “Toby and Bethany, Snuffy is Big Bird’s best friend for life on Sesame Street.”

Toby: “Whoa.”

Bethany: “Wow.”

Robin: “Oh look, there’s Big Bird,”

Big Bird: “Hi there, Toby and Bethany.”

Robin: “and there’s Mokey Fraggle along with Gobo Fraggle, Red Fraggle, Boober Fraggle and Wembley Fraggle from Fraggle Rock,”

Mokey: “Hi there, Toby and Bethany.”

Robin: “and of course, Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street.”

Ernie: “Hey, Toby and Bethany, welcome to San Francisco.”

Miss Piggy: “Alright, everybody, we’ve gotta get Toby and Bethany inside with all of us.”

Janice: “That’s right, we don’t wanna like, tire them out, goodbye, everybody.”

All other Muppet friends and Fraggles: “Goodbye.”

Bear: “Good luck on your parenthood.”

Treelo: “Careful driving.”

Ojo: “Happy trails.”

Tutter: “Enjoy your entire true family life.”

Pip and Pop: “Good luck.”

Newsman: “And now a Muppet news flash: this just in, right after Kermit and Piggy finally married 1 another, Piggy eventually got pregnant, then went into labor and right now, these are the 2 pink frog and green pig off springs ever born to exist.”

Muppet Rabbit Choir: Love the babies, love the babies

They all go back inside the Muppet Family Boarding House (the exact same 1 used in Muppets from Space (1999) (rebuilt))

Kermit: “Okay, everybody, let’s baby-proof this boarding house.”

Kermit and Miss Piggy and their Muppet friends, along with their 3 nephews baby-proof the Muppet Family boarding house.

Kermit: “There, perfect.”

Miss Piggy: “That should do it.”

Meanwhile upstairs in Toby and Bethany’s Bedroom……

Toby: “Monkey.”

Bethany: “Chick-Chick.”

Miss Piggy: “I don’t believe this.”

Miss Piggy: (calling from upstairs) “Kermit, Janice, guys, come up here right away!”

Kermit and his Muppet friends along with their 3 nephews come right up to Toby and Bethany’s bedroom.

Miss Piggy: “Toby and Bethany just said their 1st words.”

Andy: “They did?”

Kermit: “Come on, Toby, come on, Bethany, repeat for all of us, please.”

Toby: “Monkey.”

Bethany: “Chick-Chick.”

Kermit: “Oh my gosh.”

Randy: “I don’t believe this.”

Robin: “They’re beginning to say a few words, but not too many, they’re only babies after all.”

Janice: “That’s exactly, right, Robin, you, Andy and Randy can show them everything we all know, like the way to the bus stop, the grocery store and you can show them lots of different types of flowers and trees.”

Andy: “That sounds fascinating.”

Kermit: “Well, my good friends and family members, we’d better get our beauty sleep ‘cause we don’t wanna be too tired on Toby and Bethany’s 1st birthday bash tomorrow afternoon.”

Toby and Bethany, who are now in their pajamas fall asleep and Kermit and his Muppet friends and true family members go right into their bedrooms and fall asleep as well.

The very next morning…….

Everybody’s now awake and getting prepared to go to the Lucky Apple Pub for Toby and Bethany’s 1st birthday bash.

Kermit: “Come on, gang, let’s get on the bus to head on down to the Lucky Apple Pub for Toby and Bethany’s 1st birthday bash.”

Dr. Teeth: “Well alright!”

Floyd: “Good thinkin’, man!”

Kermit and his Muppet friends and family members go right outside and get on the Electric Mayhem bus and head on down all the way to the Lucky Apple Pub.

Scene 3: The Lucky Apple Pub Kermit: “Well, here we are, everybody.”

They all get off the bus with Kermit and Miss Piggy carrying Toby and Bethany in baby carriers.

Rowlf: “Happy 1st birthday, babies.”

They all go inside and see all of the birthday party decorations.

Bean is performing onstage with an animatronics band.

Bean: Happy birthday bash, no more itchy rash, when you’re older, it’s not a pain or gain, happy birthday bash, happy, happy birthday bash, birthday bash

Other Muppet friends (except Kermit): birthday bash!

Rizzo: “Hey come on, Kermit, it’s a sing along song, you need t’sing along.”

Kermit: “No thanks, Rizzo.”

Rizzo: “I’ll be your good friend.”

Miss Piggy: “Kermit? do me 1 good favor and keep everything in order.”

Kermit: “Sure, Piggy, you got it.”

Miss Piggy: “And watch the frog cake while you’re at it.”

Kermit: “Okay, sure, you got it.”

Miss Piggy: “And don’t forget the birthday candles.”

Kermit walks around over to Baker Jeff, who just finished decorating the frog cake.

Kermit: “That frog cake looks nice and lovely.”

Baker Jeff: “It sure does, look, it’s Sprinkles the Frog.”

Grover: “Isn’t he cute and adorable? he looks just like you.”

Harvey Jefferson and his daughter, Melanie show up right in front of where Kermit is standing.

Harvey: “Hey, Kermit, my daughter, Melanie is a number 1 fan of yours, would you mind doing your greatest wild cheer for her, please?”

Kermit: “I’d rather not, Harvey, it’s my son and daughter’s 1st birthday, so I don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of them.”

Melanie: “Do the wild cheer.”

Kermit picks up the tray and the frog cake and walks around very carefully.

Kermit: “Okay, hold it all together, try to keep it in.”

Melanie: “Daddy, he’s getting away, do something!”

Kermit continues walking around, but Rizzo notices a rainbow cloud on the frog cake.

Rizzo: “Oh boy, I’m gonna lick me a rainbow cloud.”

Rizzo begins licking the rainbow cloud, but Kermit backs away.

Kermit: “Rizzo!”

Rizzo: “Oh, sorry ‘bout dat, Kermit.”

Kermit walks right over to Miss Piggy and sets the tray and frog cake down on the dining table.

Miss Piggy: “Oh good.”

Miss Piggy realizes something unexpecting.

Miss Piggy: “What happened to the frog cake?”

Kermit: “Trust me, it’s an improvement.”

Miss Piggy’s Mother: “Ugh, you’ve licked it.”

Kermit: “It’s just a big mistake.”

Miss Piggy’s Mother: “Just because you’re a frog doesn’t mean you need to eat like 1.”

Harvey: “Hey, Kermit, how ‘bout doing your greatest wild cheer.”

Melanie: “Do the wild cheer.”

Kermit: “Hey uh, let me put it to you this way, Melanie, I only do my wild cheer, when I’m super excited and introducing guest stars on my show, you don’t wanna see me too excited do you?”

Statler: “Well, Kermit, looks like you forgot the birthday candles.”

Statler and Waldorf: [Laughing Uncontrollably Again]

Miss Piggy: “Okay, Kermit, watch the frog cake, Janice and I will get them.”

Miss Piggy and Janice leave to go get the birthday candles.

Kermit: “Watch the frog cake?”

Kermit looks around to see something unexpecting.

Kermit: “Where’s the frog cake?!?”

Andy: “We ate the frog cake.”

Randy: “Sorry about that, Uncle Kermit.”

Kermit: “What?!?”

Toby and Bethany: [Crying Loudly]

Kermit: “No, no, no, no, no, don’t cry.”

Kermit: “Andy, Randy, we need another frog cake.”

Andy: “But we ate the other frog cake.”

Harvey: “Hey, I believe you promised my daughter a wild cheer.”

Melanie: “Do the wild cheer.”

Kermit: “Uh, yay.”

Melanie: “I don’t even like it.”

Kermit: “Are there any red and blue cupcakes?”

Randy: “We ate them as well too.”

Andy: “They have gummy pops.”

Randy: “No, I ate them.”

Andy: “What?!? and you didn’t even share?!?”

Toby and Bethany: [Crying And Wailing]

Kermit: “No, no, no, no, no, it’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright.”

Miss Piggy and Janice show up with the birthday candles and Miss Piggy picks Toby Up.

Miss Piggy: “Kermit? what’s going on around here?”

Pepe: “Everybody, I found another frog cake, okay.”

Pepe pulls back the blue cloth to reveal a brand new frog cake.

Kermit: “Alright, another frog cake, we have another frog cake, yaaaaaaay!”

Harvey: “Alright, way to go, Kermit.”

Melanie: “I knew he could do it.”

Toby and Bethany make their wishes by blowing out the birthday candles on the frog cake, while Kermit’s mother proposes a toast to the birthday twins.

Kermit’s Mother: “Ever since Kermit and Piggy had their little twin son and daughter, Piggy’s Mother, Father and I have been the most happy go lucky grandparents in San Francisco.”

All Muppet friends and family members: “For the birthday twins.”

Kermit: “Happy 1st birthday, Toby, and you too, Bethany.”

Scene 4: Back home at the Muppet family boarding house (a few days later) Toby and Bethany are no longer babies, they’re now 7 years old.

Kermit: “Okay, bye, Toby and Bethany, have a wonderful time at school.”

Miss Piggy: “And be sure not to speak with anybody who can get you in real big trouble.”

Toby: “Okay, Mom and Dad, we’ll be extra careful.”

Bethany: “Just like we promised.”

Toby and Bethany leave to get on the school bus to go to school on their own.

Gonzo: “You know what they say, things never get old.”

Fozzie: “Looks like everything’s perfectly fine around here.”

Walter: “Now we can get on with the good family life.”

Scooter: “Easy for you to say.”

Kermit: “Okay, everybody, I know mine and Piggy’s son and daughter are off to school right now, let’s all do a closing musical number.”

Kermit and his Muppet friends and 4 family members are now outside in the park.

[Music Being Played On Banjo]

Kermit: What would you think if I sang outta tune? would you stand up and walk out on me? and what’s on the other side?

[Music Continues In Background]

Gonzo: lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

Fozzie: and I’ll try not to sing outta key

Rowlf: oh I get by with a little help from my friends, yeah I get high with a little help from my friends, ooh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends

[Music Continues]

Robin: what do I do when my love is away?

Scooter: does it worry you to be alone? Swedish chef: huo du I feel by zee-a ind ouff zee-a dey?

Rizzo: are you sad because you’re on yo’ own?

Walter: no I get by with a little help from my friends, yeah I get high with a little help from my friends, ooh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends

Lew Zealand: do you need anybody?

Bean: I need somebody to love

Janice: could it be anybody?

Floyd: I want somebody to love

Beauregard: would you believe in a love at 1st sight?

Link Hogthrob: yes I’m certain that it happens all the time

Clifford: what do you seen when you turn out the light? Sam: I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine

Dr. Strangepork: oh I get by with a little help from my friends, yeah I get high with a little help from my friends, ooh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends

Chip: do you need anybody?

Gonzo: I need somebody to love

Miss Piggy: could it be anybody?

Skeeter: I want somebody to love

Scooter: oh I get by with a little help from my friends, yeah I get high with a little help from my friends, ooh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends, oh I get by with a little help from my friends, with a little help from my friends……

Emily: “That was very beautiful, you guys did great out there.”

Fozzie: “We sure did, Ma, we sure did.”

Fade to a black screen…….

A memorial dedication reads: Dedicated to the loving memories of John Henson (1965-2014) and Stan Freberg (1926-2015).

End Production Credits

Directed by James Bobin

Produced by Nicholas Stollar

Voice Performers End Credits

Steve Whitmire as Kermit, Ernie, Foo-Foo, Wembley Fraggle, Rizzo, Bean, Statler, Beaker, Link Hogthrob, the Newsman, Lips, Andy and Flash (voices)

Eric Jacobson as Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Animal, Sam, Marvin Suggs, Bert Grover and Guy Smiley (voices)

Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Zoot, Beauregard, Bunsen, Waldorf, Chip, Randy and Boober Fraggle (voices)

Matt Vogel as Robin, Floyd, Camilla, Emily, Crazy Harry, Lew Zealand, Sweetums, Dr. Strangepork, Pops, Constantine, Count Von Count, Farley, Sherlock Hemlock and Emmett (voices)

Bill Barretta as Pepe, Johnny, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf, the Swedish Chef, Croaker and Miss Piggy’s Mother (voices)

David Rudman as Scooter, Janice, Wayne, Bobby Benson, Miss Poogy, Mildred Huxtetter, Baby Bear, Forgetful Jones, Don Music, Placido Flamingo, Sonny Friendly, Cookie Monster, Furline Husky and Stuie Monster (voices)

Ryan Dillon as Elmo, Clifford, Mulch and Toby (voices)

Peter Linz as Walter, Tutter, Pip and Bethany (voices)

Tyler Bunch as Herry, Treelo, Pop and the Announcer (voices)

Martin P. Robinson as Telly and Snuffy (voices)

Carroll Spinney as Big Bird and Oscar (voices)

Stephanie D’Abruzzo as Skeeter, Lulu and Prairie Dawn (voices)

Jennifer Barnhardt as Zoe and Gladys the Cow (voices)

John E. Kennedy as Blotch, Arnie and the Delivery Whatnot (voices)

Noel MacNeal as Bear (voice)

Vicki Eibner as Ojo (voice)

John Tartaglia as Gobo Fraggle and Goggles (voices)

Karen Prell as Red Fraggle (voice)

Kathryn Mullen as Mokey Fraggle (voice)

Carmen Oshbar as Rosita (voice)

Cree Summer Francks as Kermit’s Mother (voice)

Alice Dinnean Vernon as Wanda, Hilda and Ma Otter (voices)

Human Cast Members End Credits Jack Black as Harold, the Pizza Cabin manager

Elijah Wood as himself

Ice Cube as Reverend Jackson

Bill Hader as Baker Jeff

Tom Cruise as Harvey Jefferson

Scarlett Estevez as Melanie Jefferson

Timothy Dalton as Super Spy James

Ben Stiller as Officer Thompson

Drew Barrymore as Officer Johnson

Zach Galifianakis as Hobo Joe

Songs in Alphabetical Order God Bless the U.S.A.

The All-New Muppet Show Theme Song

The New and Improved Guest Star Song

What a Wonderful World

The Happy Birthday Bash Song

With A Little Help from My Friends

All good music on Disney Muppet Records