The All-New Muppet Show/Episode 101 transcript

Prologue: The Guest Star's dressing room
Scooter: [Knocking On Door 4 Times] "(Guest Star's Name), oh, (Guest Star's Name), 13 2nds 'til curtain, Mr. (Guest Star's Last Name)."

Guest Star: "Thanks a bunch, Scooter, it's been a very long time since I worked with you guys in the 2011 Muppets movie."

Scooter; "You know what they say, it brings back the memories."

Cut to Kermit appearing through The All-New Muppet Show logo......

Kermit: "It's The All-New Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Mr. Jason Segal, yaaaaaaay!"

[The All-New Muppet Show Theme Music In Background]

Rowlf: [Playing On Piano Keys]

[Music In Background]

Female Muppet friends: It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on The All-New Muppet Show tonight

Male Muppet friends: it's time to put on make-up, it's time to dress up right, it's time to raise the curtain on The All-New Muppet Show tonight

Waldorf: why do we always come here?

Statler: I guess we'll never know

Waldorf: it's like some kind of torture

Statler and Waldorf: to have to watch the show

[Orchestra Band Playing Theme Music]

Kermit: and now let's get things started

Miss Piggy: why don't you get things started

Kermit and Muppet friends: it's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppet-ational, this is what we call the All-New Muppet Show......

Gonzo: [Playing Reveille On Bugle]

Scene 1: Onstage/the opening musical number
Kermit: "Thank you, everybody, and welcome to The All-New Muppet Show, that's right, tonight's a very exciting night for the very 1st show tonight, 'cause tonight's special guest star is Mr. (Guest Star's Name), and that's not all, he played the part of Gary in our 2011 Muppets movie, but 1st, it's time for the opening musical number."

Beauregard: "Hey, you guys, just for you to know, there's a toy wind-up robot in the hallway, and we'd better be very careful not to let it run away."

Kermit: "Oh thanks for telling us that, Beauregard, but anyway, here's the opening musical number."

Opening Musical Number: The Macarena (performed by Miss Piggy and the flamingos)
[Music Playing In Background]

Manola and Carlo: AAAHAA, AAAHAA, AAAHAA

[Music Continues Playing In Background]

Miss Piggy: When I dance, they call me Macarena

and the boys, they say que soy buena

they all want me, they can't have me

so they all come and dance beside me

move with me, chat with me

and if your good, I'll take you home with me

move with me, chat with me

and if your good, I'll let you dance with me

Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA

dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA

Miss Piggy: now don't you worry about my boyfriend,

the boy whose name is Kermitino

I don't want him, couldn't stand him

he was no good, so I

(spoken)

"Now come on, what was I suppose to do? he was out of town, and his 2 friends were so fine."

Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA

AAAHAA

AAAHAA

AAAHAA

AAAHAA

Miss Piggy: come find me, my name is Macarena

always at the party con las chicas que estan buenas

come join me, dance with me

and all you fellas chat along with me

Manola and Carlo: dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA

dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA

dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

heeeeey Macarena

AAAHAA!

Cut to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony........

Waldorf: "So have you ever done the Macarena before?"

Statler: "No, but I did the Locomotion before in my entire life."

Waldorf: "Long live the king of disco music!"

Statler and Waldorf: [Laughing Uncontrollably]

Cut back to Kermit in his office backstage.........

Kermit: "Let's see what's next, (he looks right at the list) oh, Muppet Labs is next, Muppet Labs is next onstage, everybody."