Mushu/Quotes and Lines

Quotes and Lines spoken by Mushu from the Disney film Mulan.

Mulan

 * [waking up] I liiiiiiiiiive! So tell me what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word and I'm there.
 * And let me say somethin'. Anybody who's foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be miiiine!
 * ...protect the family.
 * I... ring the gong.
 * One family reunion comin' right up. [to the other ancestors while banging a gong] Okay, people, people, look alive. Let's go. Come on. Get up. Let's move it. Rise and shine. Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me.
 * Okay, okay. I get the drift. I'll go. [Ancestors laugh] Oh, y'all don't think I can do it? Watch this here! [breathes a very small flame] Aha! Jump back. I'm pretty hot, huh? Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.
 * Go get her? What's the matter with you... After this Great Stone Humpty-Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to be let back in the temple. Wait a minute! That's it! I'll make Mulan a war hero, and the ancestors will be begging me to come back. That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man.
 * [holding up the Great Stone Dragon's head, which is all that is left of him] Uh, uh, uh, uh... Yes, I just woke up. I'm... I'm the Great Stone Dragon. Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan. Did... Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
 * Don't even worry about it. I will not lose face! [loses balance and rolls down the hill; the head of the Great Stone Dragon lands on top of him] Oh, my elbow. Oh, oh. I know I twisted something.
 * I'm doomed! And all 'cause Miss Man decides to take her little drag show on the road.
 * You're lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you? [Cri-Kee chirps again] What you mean, a loser? How 'bout if I pop one of your antennas off, and throw it across the yard? Then who's the loser, me or you?
 * Did I hear someone ask for a miracle? Let me hear you say "aaah"!
 * That's close enough!
 * Get ready, Mulan, your serpentine salvation is at hand! For I have been sent by your ancestors... to guide you through your masquerade.
 * Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Mushu! [revealing himself] Oh. Ha, ha. Pretty hot, huh?
 * Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?
 * Of course! I'm travel size for your convenience!
 * Dragon! Dragon! Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing.[Mushu sticks out his tongue and waves it about to show that he is indeed a dragon and not a lizard]
 * My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor. [Mushu's eyes move towards Mulan's chest; she smacks him] Oooh! All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! [to Cri-Kee] Make a note of this: dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, dis...
 * Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more. We clear on that? All right. Okey-dokey, let's get this show on the road! Cri-Kee, get the bags. [to the horse, Khan] Let's move it, heifer.
 * Beautiful, isn't it?
 * No, they're men. And you'll have to act just like them, so pay attention.
 * Chicken boy? Say that to my face, you limp noodle!
 * [whispering in Mulan's ear] Ling. How 'bout Ling?
 * Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.
 * Gesundheit. [chuckles] I kill myself.
 * Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up.
 * Of course, Ping did steal my girl...
 * You know, we have to work on your people skills.
 * All right! Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! Come on. Hup, hup, hup! Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for ya. Look, you get porridge... [Porridge has a fried-eggs-and-bacon smile] And it's happy to see ya. [Cri-Kee pops up from the porridge] [tossing Cri-Kee from the "porridge"] Hey, get outta there! You gonna make people sick!
 * [stuffing breakfast into Mulan's mouth] No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of trainin', so listen to your teacher and no fightin', play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.
 * Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face. [Mulan looks at him with mouth full of porridge] Ooh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. Come on, scare me, girl!
 * There! That's what I'm talking about! That's my tough-looking warrior girl! Now go out there and make me proud!
 * My little baby, off to destroy people.
 * So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Well, myself, I kinda like that corn chip smell.
 * Yeah, yeah. [talking and acting like a girl] Stand watch, Mushu, while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits. Pfft! Hygiene.
 * Oh! We're doomed! There are a couple things I know they're bound to notice!
 * Ugh! Ach! What a nasty flavor.
 * No... [brushes his teeth] That was vile! You owe me big. [Mushu squirts more toothpaste in his mouth and brushes again]
 * Hey, don't look at me, I ain't biting no more butts.
 * Okay, let me see what you got. [reading Cri-Kee's note] "From General Li. Dear Son, we're waiting for the Huns at the pass. It would mean a lot if you'd come and back us up." Hmm, that's great, except you forgot, "And since we're out of potpourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some." Hel-lo! This is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! You know what I'm talkin' about?
 * [disguised as a messenger riding the panda] Urgent news from the General. [beat] What's the matter? Never seen a black-and-white before?
 * Excuse me? I think the question is: who are YOU? We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your hat for that; snatch it right off your head! But I'm feeling gracious today, so, carry on before I report you!
 * Oh, sure. Save the horse.
 * Oookay, you might wanna light that right about now. Quickly! Quickly! [Mulan drops the tinderbox, seizes Mushu and uses him to light the rocket, then points it at the mountain behind Shan Yu] [from on top of the rocket as it soars away] You missed! How could you miss? He was three feet from you!
 * [finding Cri-kee in the snow] Man, you are one lucky bug.
 * We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're definitely gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming!
 * I was this close. This close to impressin' the ancestors, gettin' the top shelf, an entourage. Man. All my fine work. Pfft.
 * Hi.
 * Hey, c'mon you did it to save your father's life. Who knew you'd end up shaming him and disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends...
 * The truth is, we're both frauds. Your ancestors never sent me, they don't even like me. But you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. [Cri-Kee chirps sadly at Mushu] What? What do you mean you're not lucky? You lied to me? [Cri-Kee nods sadly]  [to Mulan's horse] And what are you, a sheep?
 * Did you see those Huns? They popped out of the snow, like daisies!
 * Let's go kick some Hunny buns! Yee-ha!
 * Huh? I'm sorry, did you say something?
 * Hey, you're a girl again. Remember?
 * [after burning Shan-Yu's hawk] Now that's what I call Mongolian barbecue.
 * Citizens, I need firepower.
 * Your worst nightmare.
 * My little baby's all grown up and... [sniffle] ... and savin' China. You have a tissue?

Mulan II

 * [about Mulan's engagement] Oh, what a happy, happy day! My little baby's gettin' married!
 * Hey, wherever you go, I go, girl!
 * I just got some exfolitating cream in my eye!
 * [hiding behind a wheelbarrow as Mulan and Shang come by on their horses] This is gonna be delicious!
 * [doing a perfect voice imitation of Mulan on a dummy outside Shang's tent] General Shang? General Hardhead, that's what they should call him! Everything's got to have a strategy!
 * [still sounding like Mulan] The man won't brush his teeth without a backup plan!
 * [still imitating] I blame myself. I fell for those broad shoulders. I didn't realize there wasn't much sittin' on top of 'em! [the dummy's head falls off accidently, then Mushu gasps as he places it back on] Oh, except for that garlic breath... [no longer imitating] Ooh-whee! That boy can peel paint! Oops!
 * [starting to cry] Oh, that did it!

Kingdom Hearts II

 * "I am Mushu."
 * "See that, Mulan? It's Shan-Yu, leader of the Hun army! C'mon, girl. This is your big chance!"
 * "I can see it now: "Fa Mulan whups public enemy number one!" You gonna be famous! I'm talkin' A-list!"
 * "That's right, I know you heard of me! I'm little, lethal, and legendary! Now y'all scram before I get my dragon dander up!'
 * "Yeah, well you better HOPE I miss YOU, or else you're---you're... Sora! Donald! Goofy!"
 * "Know them? Man, we used to kick all kinds of bad guy butt together! Yeah, you know, I helped these guys out of a lot of tight spots. 'Cause I'm a mighty dragon! Right?"
 * "And that puts you three up to your eyeballs in debt to Ping here."
 * "See, Ping here was just on his way to join the Imperial army."
 * "I don't know---those two would fall for anything."
 * "Remember, girl---manly!"
 * "Who you callin' a shrimp, panda lips? I'm a bona fide guardian dragon!"
 * "Okay, girl! Here's your chance! I just saw this real shady guy. And I know it's Shan-Yu."
 * "So, let's go find out where Shan-Yu is, by ourselves. Then, if we're lucky, we can fry him up good! Though just tracking the guy down should earn us our stars... Captain Musclehead will have to notice my girl!"
 * "What? What is it?"
 * "Please! That Hun is old news! We're gonna tell the Captain how thousands of Heartless stormed the cave, and Ping took out almost every one of 'em!"
 * "Me, hey, whoa! Whoa! Wait a second! Ah!"
 * "You're going the wrong way!"
 * "First she uses me as a lighter, then she turns me into a cannon ball. The head ancestor's gonna hear about this. You know, that's it! I give up! I can't take this no more. C'mon, Mulan. Let's quit this charade and go home, girl."
 * "You know, your daddy's gonna be steamed as a chicken dumpling."
 * "Now that's what I call burning some hunny-bun! Aw, yeah! Mulan's the best! Mulan's the best! No, wait a minute---I'm the best! Mushu's the best! Mushu's the best!"
 * "Now they GOTTA let me go back to bein' a guardian! They GOTTA!"
 * "You know, I just didn't wanna bog y'all down with all a guardian's deeds. See, they're very complex, a lot of fine print. You wouldn't understand."