Genie/Quotes and Lines

Quotes and Lines spoken by Genie from Disney's Aladdin.

Aladdin

 * "Oy! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck."
 * "WOW!! Does it feel good to be outta there!"
 * "I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?"
 * "Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie? [turns into a Scotsman] It sounds like, "Here, boy!" [whistles]  C'mon, Laddie!"
 * "Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel."
 * "Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?"
 * [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma] "That's right! He can be taught!"
 * "What would you wish of me? [as Arnold Schwarzenegger] The ever impressive... [as if trapped in a box] ... the long-contained... [as SeÒor Wences] ... the often immitated, but never... [multiplies himself]... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp! [as Ed Sullivan]  Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you."
 * "Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. (Turns into a slot machine, arm pulls down and three GENIEs appear in the windows.) That's all. (Three GENIE caballeros come out of the slot.) Three! Uno, dos, tres (Changes into b/w Groucho Marx.) No substitutions, exchanges or refunds."
 * "Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here. So, why don't you just ruminate whilst l illuminate the possibilities?"
 * "So what'll it be, master?"
 * [imitating William F. Buckley] "Uh, ah, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos. Ah, a couple of quid pro quo."
 * Uh, rule number 1: I can't kill anybody. (chops off his head) So don't ask. Uh, rule number 2: (puts his head back on) I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else (his head shape-shifts into lips and kiss Aladdin) You little punim there. (pinches Aladdin's cheek) Rule number 3: (Shape-shifts into a ghoulish version of himself) I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT!!! (Shifts back to normal) Other than that, you got it.
 * "Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walking out on me? I don't think so! Not right now! You're getting your wishes, so SIT DOWN!!!!"
 * "In case of emergency, [points in different directions with many arms] the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here,... ANYWHERE! [retracts his extra arms] Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE...!!![the carpet takes off and pops out of the cave] ...OUTTA HERE!!!"
 * "Thank you for choosing "Magic Carpet" for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye. [back to normal] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?"
 * "Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!"
 * "Oh. Well, I feel sheepish.[turns into a sheep] All right, you bad boy. But no more freebies."
 * "Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case. Ah, forget it."
 * "No, I can't. I."
 * [sigh] "Freedom."
 * "It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig. [grows to a gigantic size] PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!!! [shrinks back into his lamp] Itty-bity living space."
 * "But, oh, to be free. Not have to go "poof" What do you need? "poof" What do you need? "poof" What do you need? To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, that's never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus."
 * [opening Royal Recipes book] "Let's see here. Chicken à la king? [chuckles] Nope. Alaskan king crab. [pulls out Sebastian clamped to his finger. "Under the Sea" plays as Genie flicks him off of his finger] Ow. I hate it when they do that. Caesar salad. [arm with the knife raised from the book trying to kill him]  Ah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha. "To make a prince.""
 * "First, that fez and vest combo is much too third century. These patches. What are we trying to say? Beggar? No. Let's work with me here. [after taking measurements, turns Aladdin's rags into fine clothes] Ooh, I like it! Muy macho!"
 * "He's got the outfit, he's got the elephant, but we're not through yet!"
 * "Hang onto your turban, kid - we're gonna make you a star!"
 * "So move! [Carpet takes his Queen and knocks Genie's king off the board] Hey! That's a good move. [imitates Rodney Dangerfield] I can't believe it! I'm losing to a rug!"
 * [as Jack Nicholson] "All right, sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do you got it?"
 * [pointing to each word on a blackboard] "Tell her the truth!"
 * "Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her."
 * "She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature."
 * "Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious! Punctual!"
 * "Sorry."
 * "Nice recovery."
 * [appearing as a guy in a bathtub] "Never fails! You get in the bathtub, and there's a rub at the lamp. [squeaks rubber duckie]  Hello! [sees Aladdin]  Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life," got it? Okay! [shakes Aladdin] C'mon, Aladdin! [Aladdin's head droops] I'll take that as a yes." [he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]
 * "Oh, Al. I'm getting kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything."
 * "Psst. [whispers] Your line is "I'm going to free the Genie." Anytime!"
 * "Al, you won."
 * [obviously hurt] "Fine. I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was just beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master." [Vanishes into lamp]
 * [coming out of the lamp after Jafar has rubbed it] "Y'know, Al, I'm getting really [spots Jafar] I - don't think you're him."
 * (looks at a script) "Tonight, the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man."
 * "I was afraid of that."
 * "I can't help you. I work for Senor Psychopath now!"
 * [turns into a cheerleader] "Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!"
 * "Jafar, Jafar, he's our man, if he can't do it: GREAT!!"
 * "Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?"
 * "The boy's crazy. He's a little punch-drunk. One too many hits with a snake."
 * "Al! You little genius, you!"
 * "Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out!"[flicks them into the distance]
 * "Al, no problem. You still got one wish left! Just say the word, and you're a prince again."
 * "Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. [pushes Aladdin and Jasmine closer together] This is love."
 * "Al, you're not going to find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked."
 * "One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I. What?"
 * "I'm free... I'm free. [to Aladdin] Quick, QUICK! Wish for something outrageous, say 'I-I want the Nile'! Wish for the Nile, try that."
 * "NO WAY! [points and laughs]] OH, does this feel good! Oh! I'm free! I'm free at last! [starts packing a suitcase] I'm hitting the road! I'm off to see the world! I'm-" [Looks at Aladdin who smiles sadly and looks down]
 * (to Aladdin) "No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me."
 * "Do you mind if I kiss the monkey? [kisses Abu's head then coughs up small ball of fur] Oh! Hairball."I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am; I'm free hee!"
 * "Made you look."
 * "You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!"

Aladdin II: The Return of Jafar

 * [arriving from his trip around the world] "He's big, he's blue! He's back!"
 * "OOH! AHHH! WATCH THE SUNBURN! A-ha! Kidding!"
 * "Take care of these, my good mammal. [Abu takes the luggage but falls down from Aladdin's shoulder] Careful they're heavy."
 * [talking about the hula skirt girl] "Oooh, she dances!"
 * [sings] "It's A Small World after all. [turns back to normal and speaks] But Agrahbah has something that no other place in the world has. [Turns into a rocket and shouts] You guys!"
 * [chanting] "Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle. Without you, the Sahara's not so hot."
 * "Seriously? I love it!"
 * "Giddy up, slowpoke, what's keeping you?"
 * "And Iago talk about a rat with wings."
 * "Whoo! That bird was mean. [Turns his head into Iago] "Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker?" [His head returns to normal] Remember that?"
 * "Yes sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots."
 * [impersonating Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio"] "Just let your conscience be your guide."
 * (catches Aladdin and Jasmine on tape) "Rolling! Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. (to Jasmine) Looking great, Jazz. (to Aladdin) More emotion, Al! Tilt your chin a bit."
 * "Your shot. [pause] Pool's a man's game; so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvantage [Carpet clears the table with break shot] Eh, pool's a dumb game anyway."
 * [runs up to Jasmine with Abu to catch Sultan & Aladdin] "Make room for the picnic boys!"
 * "Without us?"
 * "No problem! I'll catch up in a flash!"
 * [to Abu] "You know what this means, monkey boy? MORE FOOD FOR US!"
 * [about Jafar] "Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie, and genies can't kill anyone. [Jafar's hands turn into dragons and spray fire all over Genie and Abu]  [wheezing] But you'd be surprised what you can live through."
 * [Thinking he destroyed Jafar] "Hahahaha! Who's laughing now?"
 * "Oh, come on, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no head look is just not you."
 * [laughs] "HE'S ALIVE!!!!!" [turns into a rocket and explodes]

Aladdin III: And The King of Thieves

 * [disguised as an old man] "Ooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion!"
 * "Ooh, wonderful! And who's the lucky prince?"
 * [in his true form] "No way! (grabs Razoul) Try it phonetically. It's... Aladdin! (A neon lit "Aladdin" sign appears as record scratches; blinks out) Aww- some of you don't believe. [Main titles appears, this time in Arabian style, as music resumes and fireworks pops]. (as Tinker Bell) In colour!" (giggles)
 * "Hello? Somebody's gonna be late for his own wedding!"
 * [winks] "I gotcha... [turns into a woman popping out of a cake] It's a bachelor party, big boy! [to Carpet with a mug of beer] None for you! You're the designated flyer."
 * [dancing] "'Sa goin' on now! gotta partay! Gotta partay! Help me! I Can't stop myself! Somebody rub the lamp! Somebody rub the lamp! Oh, you know I feel it! [sees everyone staring at him] That's enough."
 * [commentating a show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Magical] "Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by Sand! It's everywhere! Get used to it."
 * "Oh, look, it's a Kodiak moment! [a Kodiak bear appears and roars ominously] Put that bear out of here."
 * "Oh no, the crowd is parting. Who's coming? IT'S MOSES!"
 * "Oh look! There's Osiris. Oh, Osiris! Osiris, could we have a word with you?"
 * "And your name is...?"
 * "You're Thor?"
 * [looks at the guests waiting for the wedding] "They're heeeeeeeeere. [in horror] Oh, no! (as the White Rabbit) I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!" [gets the wedding ready]
 * [crying at the wedding] "It's all so magical. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not." [sobs loudly for several seconds, then loudly blows his nose into Carpet]
 * [the wedding pavilion starts shaking] "I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon."
 * [after elephants run over the Magic Carpet] "Oh, they trampled the carpet! That's a little redundant. So this isn't a bad day for you really, is it?"
 * [Genie's pointing an elephant towards some thieves] "Don't make me use the other end!"
 * [as Forrest Gump] "Mama always said, "Magic is as magic does"."
 * "Uh-Oh. Uh-Oh. Definitely an oracle-tells the future. Uh-Oh."
 * (impersonates Mrs. Doubtfire as he's trying to cheer up Jasmine) "Listen to Genie, dear. Genie knows. You've got to get your mind off this incessant waiting."
 * [playing with wedding themes] "Okay, Madonna - don't keep it, just put that in the mix. Wink. [fills the room with neon signs and flashing lights] Oh, I see lasers! It's a miracle! He believes! [as Elvis] Thank ya very much."
 * [back to normal] "Très gauche, right?"
 * [as Chico Marx] "Hey, that's-a no good. What a wedding needs is a theme! [as Groucho] Needs a groom too, but let's work with what we have!" [waggles eyebrows]
 * "It's a joke! I do that."
 * "Okay, let's see, this will be the second wedding for both of you, I'm thinking we need something a little more simple, a little more elegant... and less gray. [pulls an elephant out of thin air] Did it, done it, own it."
 * "Maybe you you could elope. No, you can't elope. But, oh, honey dew!"
 * [turning a honeydew into a coach] "I don't know whether to put it under props or produce! [to Jasmine] Please don't squeeze the tires, they're not ripe."
 * [dressing Jasmine up as Snow White] "And how 'bout that gown? Whether you're dancing with dwarves or simply biting the apple, it says 'I'm a princess for now!'"
 * "Hey, it's synergy! The marketing guys are very excited, tests really well."
 * "Observe!" [pushes a button on the remote control and a Genie robot appears]
 * "Armed and dangerous! I'd like to see one of those 40 Thieves get within an inch of your wedding."
 * [shrieks, then calls on a walkie talkie] "All units, we have a Code Red![he then transforms into dozens of S.W.A.T. troopers, who take up positions around the room, at the same time the area is locked up by sealed doors] (as multiple S.W.A.T. troopers) Code Red! Code Red! (as Scottish men) Come on, boys! Follow me! [all play bagpipes] (as the Lone Ranger) Calvary, FORWARD! [all Lone Rangers follow him] (as paratroopers jumping out of a plane) Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! (as Pocahontas) Pocahontas![all the Genies surround Cassim on all sides] Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!"
 * "Back off, Al, this creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm!"
 * "Stand down, men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.(all the other Genies "poof" away)(to Casssim, threateningly) If you're Al's dad and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing!"
 * (turns into a waiter) "Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?"
 * (turns into Pumbaa from The Lion King) "Hakuna Matata! (turns back, looks scared) Whoa. I was having an out-of-movie experience."
 * "Trying to show him a better life wasn't stupid, Al. [speaking with his hand, high voice] Leaving him alone with the parrot, that was stupid."
 * "Al, c'mon! Why you gonna try on the King of Thieves get-up? Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say "ARREST ME"?!" (In black and white prisoner clothes)
 * "I object, Your Honor! (Turns Razoul into an officer and the Sultan into a judge with stand) I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines in my courtroom. (Hands him a suitcase and blasts him out of sight) Take this to a higher court, my good man!"
 * "Your honor, if I may enter a plea of insanity? Because I am CRAZY about this kid!" [noogies Aladdin]
 * "Al, I know your dad made a lot of bad choices - but that doesn't mean you have to."
 * [as Bing Crosby] "I'm sure Ali Baba and the boy are on the road to Agrabah right now. Isn't that right, Bob? [as Bob Hope] That's right, Bing. How 'bout this town? Is it wild or what? It's like one giant sand trap, and me without my wedgie. Hey, let's give a big hand for Brooke Shields."
 * [as a wrestling commentator] "He's got him in the half-nelson, now he's got him in the full-nelson! Oh no! The dreaded 'Ozzie Nelson!' [as Ozzie Nelson] Rick, boys, maybe you wanna come over here and see what's happening'?"
 * (imitates Ray Combs) "Survey says... Show me TURTLE!"

Disney's Aladdin: The Series

 * Kid's got a genie, and he takes advice from a rug.
 * It means school's out and no mail.
 * [as a bird] Birds?
 * I can throw my voice. Catching it is another matter.
 * [suggestively after changing Iago into a woman] This is a good look for you, and it could be permanent.
 * [as his Anger personality throws Abis Mal from a great height] Point that beard at me again and I'll rip your spine out!
 * [dressed as Mary Poppins] Well, I am practically perfect in every way.
 * [causing Aladdin to laugh with him] Aw, poor Carpet; he still misses that beach-towel he met at low tide.
 * I feel so... pretty!
 * Here's my bill for saving your life. It's been nice working with you.
 * Don't worry about us, Al.
 * [appears with box of popcorn] It is? I love a good show! What are we gonna see?
 * [Iago screams as the creature advances on him... and reveals himself to be Genie in disguise] Gotcha!
 * [doing a crossword] Hey, what's a 7-letter word for a hit TV show starting with A?

Kingdom Hearts Series

 * "Wish Number One, coming right up!"
 * "Patience, my fine, feathered friend! Any three wishes! A one wish, a two wish, three wish. Then I make like a banana and split! Our lucky winner made his first wish—and let me tell you, what a doozy that wish was—so he has two left. So, master, what’ll you have for Wish Number Two?"
 * "Comes with the job. Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty-bitty living space. It’s always three wishes, then back to my portable prison. I’m lucky to see the light of day every century or two..."
 * "Keyhole, eh? I could swear I’ve heard about that somewhere before..."
 * "Sorry, Al. The one with the lamp calls the shots. I don’t have a choice."
 * "Uh, earth to Al. Hello? You still have one wish left. Look, just say the word. Ask me to find Jasmine for you."
 * "Hmm. Sorry, Al. I’m done taking orders from others. But... A favor, now that’s entirely different. I guess I could give that a try. After all, we’re pals, right, Al?"
 * "Did someone say "wish"? Then stand back, kids, genie of the lamp coming through! There ain't nothin' I can't make right as rain — well, if we HAD rain. But enough dry jokes! One Heartless disappearing act, coming right up!"
 * "Then we'll just have to DO something about that, Al! Can I call you Al? So, what'll it be? Fame? Fortune? A herd of luxury camels to call your very own?"
 * "Sorry, Al. My hands are tied on this one. I gotta obey whoever has his mitts on the lamp."
 * "He sure does. Time for me to make a prince outta this guy! 'Course, I'd like to be free. But like they always say, genies can't be choosers. You're probably miffed about that whole puppet-of-Jafar thing, anyway. Go on, Al. Wish for what's really in your heart. Be a prince. Get the girl."
 * "Say no more, little pal! I know JUST what you're thinking. Here you go, Sora!"
 * "Yeah, figure that one out!"
 * "Well all right, then! One personal introduction, coming right up! The name's Genie-Formerly-Of-The-Lamp...but call me by my first name, kids!"
 * "Me, I was just swinging by Agrabah to check inn... When, all of a sudden, Carpet here decides to put the hassel to the metal and take off! Says he spotted a friend."
 * "I know, crazy isn't it? I tag along all ready to reminisce about old times... But I have no idea in the cosmos who you are! You sure this is a friend of ours, Rugman?"
 * "That's the one! My buddy Al's hometown. Why, when we first met, Al and I were inseparable..."
 * "But we got to worrying about how Al was doing...so we figured we'd pop back in to check up on him."
 * "Al said no magic, right? I'd love to just fix the place, but even a genie's got to respect his friend's wishes."
 * "Okay, forget "who." WHERE are you two!?"
 * "Oh, stop. I'm not that scary. Are you trying to give me a complex?"
 * "This, from the guy who vanished into thin air the last time we met! Well, anyway... I'm glad to see Al's doing all right. Now I can enjoy the rest of my vacation free of worries!"
 * "Aww... Okay, then. This time, it's so long for real!"
 * "I'm HOME!"
 * "Al, you princely little muffin, you!"
 * "Aw, of course, what am I saying? You're living at the palace now."
 * "Uhhhh... Princess Jasmine, you sure that you want that pigeon in the coop?"
 * "Al can't miss Sora's big farewell party! I'll have him back in a jiffy!"
 * "Alakaza---uh... You know? One lousy sandstorm is just too easy."
 * "You went mano a mano with Jafar, and you didn't invite me, Al?"
 * "Et voila! Next time let me put in a few swimming pools, 'kay?"
 * "Is that my cue? Am I on? C'mon, Al! Lemme build a freeway or something!"
 * "But I can't hold it any longer! Yee-haw! Oh that's good!"
 * "Sora, Donald, Goofy, you guys are too much. If you're ever in the mood for some more cosmic razzle-dazzle, gimme a shout, ok?"
 * "Need a hand? Looks like you do! Troubles, problems, worries, I can make them all disappear! When you need assistance from the Genie of the Lamp... Just call on me and I'll make any wish come true in a snap!"
 * " Not at all. What kind of a Genie would I be if I couldn't make do with a wishy-washy wish? How about I make this one a freebie and we'll say it evens out? I'll tell you exactly who made time stop in the city and made all this fuss. How about that? Didn't even make you wish for it!"
 * "Looks like it's waking up, and this guy is NOT a smooth riser!"
 * "Of course he will. Time will start flowing again and he'll be a free man! Pretty nice deal. Lucky guy! I wish I could be a free genie...It's a rough life, being bound to obey my master, until he wishes me free."
 * "Whoah, Sora, time to go already?"
 * "Sora...I will grant that wish to the letter. Thank you, Sora!"
 * "Troubles, Al? Whoa! You look a little green around the gills, buddy. Oh! Strike that. Everything looks green. Well--Hey, wait. You are not Al."
 * "The name's Genie. Last name "of the lamp," hey, how ya doin'. Ya got, like, issues, man? Just make a wish! Problems solved! Wrongs righted! Service while you wait!"
 * "No sirree. Three per customer, while supplies last! That's the limit. Can't expect other people to take care of every little thing."
 * "You wished it, kiddo, you got it. Badda-bing!"
 * "Well? Whaddaya think of your new, totally phantom-free city?"
 * "Huh? Oh dear. Cue remorseful genie in 3, 2, 1... Well, you did say "fewer problems"... Sorry, kid, I guess I just sorta went by the book."
 * "Well, I won't have a half-granted wish on my permanent record! We'll call that one a freebie. And guess what--to make it up to you, I've even got a trace on your bad guy. How's that for service?"
 * "You got it, boss! Buckle up, 'cause here...we...gooo!"
 * "Correctamundo! The spell was just on the city."
 * "Hmm, this isn't going to be easy, chief. I'm picking up a triple dose of traps on my lamp-dar."
 * "Hmm, this place smells fishy, and we're a long way from water."
 * "Well, sure there is! A few swift kicks in Jafar's caboose oughta kickstart time for Agrabah. And Al will be free as a bird! I"m jealous, really. I'd give anything for that freedom... But, I'm stuck until my master wishes me free."
 * "That's okay. I don't have any. But there's genie-hood for you! Phenomenal, cosmic power... Itty-bitty living space. ...Wow, déjà vu! I think I said the same thing to Al. Ya know, he seemed to understand more than the others..."
 * "Bzzrt bfft Genie here. Do you read me, Sora? He's not kidding about the invincible part. None of your attacks can hurt him. But, Jafar is a genie now. Which means..."
 * "Nab that, and you've got a shot, kiddo. Just be careful! Jafar still has the power to call time-out."
 * "Now's your chance, Sora! Knock down that lamp! But you can't give Iago the old one-two if you can't reach him... See anything around that'll give a leg-up?"