In a Pickle/Transcript

This article is a transcript of the Weird World: The TV Show episode "In a Pickle" from season one, which aired on October 18, 2019.


 * (the episode starts with George recording himself on his phone in the house and is about to go outside)
 * George Jacqueline: 8:42am. I just had breakfast and I'm about to go outside.
 * (George walks outside)
 * George Jacqueline: A beautiful day, no clouds in the sky, peace and quiet. Seems like it's gonna be a normal day.
 * (Craig can be grunting off-screen)
 * George Jacqueline: At least it was for a few minutes.
 * (George turns off his phone, puts it in his pocket and walks down the rainbow steps onto the beach and sees Craig trying to open a pickle jar)
 * George Jacqueline: Craig, what on earth are you doing?
 * Craig: I'm trying to open this pickle jar. Put this lid is hard to pull off.
 * George Jacqueline: Did you try unscrewing it?
 * Craig: Yes, but it's really stuck and it's very strong, considering it's made from titanium. And I can't smash the jar, because it's made with super tough glass.
 * (Craig struggles to open it again)
 * George Jacqueline: Hang on, why are you "trying" to open it outside?
 * Craig: (thinks) I don't know.
 * (Craig tries to open the jar again, then a crack is heard and it turns out the back of Craig's shell was cracked)
 * George Jacqueline: Yeah, we're gonna have to try something better than that. Come on, let's find Stephanie. She must have some good ideas.
 * Craig: OK. Should we skip to the theme tune, first?
 * George Jacqueline: Craig, how many times have we broken the fourth wall?
 * Craig: A butt load of times since the start.
 * George Jacqueline: I'll say about 1,000. Anyway, cue the theme tune. Oh, look I did it again. Make that 1,001.
 * (cut to theme song)
 * (cut to George and Craig in Lambert driving around the city)
 * Craig: Where did Stephanie say she was at?
 * George Jacqueline: I think she said she went to hang out with her friends. We'll find her.
 * (George drives past some buildings, over a bridge, past the docks and one of the back wheels hits a puddle of steaming water, then it starts to shake and grow eyes, but then George runs Lambert over a nail and the eyes disappear and the tire deflates, causing Lambert to stop)
 * George Jacqueline: Oh, great. We've got a puncture. Thankfully, I have a spare wheel in the boot, but it'll take us ages to get to...
 * (They are outside Steve Sigafoos' Fixing Place You Call a Garage; Steve Sigafoos steps out)
 * Steve Sigafoos: Ahh, George. My favourite customer. I'll have that new wheel on for you in... a few minutes.
 * George Jacqueline: OK.
 * (a timecard reads "A Few Minutes Later...")
 * (Steve Sigafoos has finished putting the new wheel on Lambert)
 * Steve Sigafoos: There, good as new.
 * George and Craig: Thanks, Steve!
 * (George and Craig drive off)
 * Steve Sigafoos: So long, boys. Come again any time.
 * George Jacqueline: OK. Now, back to looking for Stephanie.
 * (George and Craig past Stephanie, who is leaning against a wall and looking at her phone, with her earphones on listening to music)
 * Craig: Erm, George... who's that white girll with the colourful hair we just passed?
 * George Jacqueline: Stephanie, I think.
 * (George breaks quickly, bumps a car out a reserved parking space and stops in that space)
 * George Jacqueline: Stephanie! Come on, Craig!
 * (George and Craig get out Lambert and run towards Stephanie)
 * George and Craig: Hey, Steph.
 * (Stephanie isn't listening and keeps looking at phone)
 * (George taps Stephanie)
 * George Jacqueline: Steph!
 * (Stephanie takes out one of her earphones)
 * Stephanie: What? Oh, hey guys.
 * George Jacqueline: Aren't you hanging out with your friends?
 * Stephanie: Oh, like, their all busy today, so I'm just chilling out here on the streets.
 * Craig: OK. Listen, we need some help.
 * Stephanie: OK, what do you guys need?
 * George Jacqueline: You to help open this pickle jar. (holds up the jar) We can't do it ourselves.
 * Stephanie: One second.
 * (Stephanie is typing something on her phone)
 * George Jacqueline: What are you doing, Steph?
 * Stephanie: I'm just, erm... sending a text.
 * (George receives the text from Stephanie and it reads "Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your  age")
 * George Jacqueline: Are you for real?!
 * Stephanie: ARE YOU trying to me look stupid?
 * George Jacqueline: No! Steph, listen. This pickle jar really won't open
 * Stephanie: Did you try unscrewing the lid?
 * Craig: Yes, but it's stuck like chuck and it's made from titanium.
 * Stephanie: What about smashing it?
 * Craig: Glass is super tough.
 * Stephanie: Maybe, you're not doing it right. I didn't want to have to do this, but we're gonna have to try some pretty dangerous methods to open it. Methods part of a 16-stage process.
 * George Jacqueline: 16? Why that number specifically?
 * Stephanie: Like, that was the age I started my training on Earth.
 * George and Craig: Oh.
 * Stephanie: Come on, back to the beach and we'll start.
 * (George, Stephanie and Craig get in Lambert and drive off)
 * (cut to the beach where Stephanie's holding an axe and the pickle is on the sand)
 * Stephanie: OK, for stage 1, we're gonna cut the jar with this axe. You two might wanna, like, step back.
 * (George steps back, but Craig doesn't move)
 * Stephanie: Craig, I said "step back".
 * Craig: No legs.
 * Stephanie: *Sighs* Bounce back.
 * (Craig bounces back)
 * Stephanie: Right, then. Observe. Top!
 * (Stephanie hits the top of the jar, but fails to cut it)
 * Stephanie: Bottom!
 * (Stephanie throws the jar in the air, leaps and hits the bottom of the jar, but fails to cut it)
 * Stephanie: Side!
 * (Stephanie hits the jar from the side, but again, fails to cut it)
 * Stephanie: OK. Looks like it's on to stage 2 - hit it... (seemingly summons her spear, but it turns out to be a golf club) ... with a golf club.
 * (Stephanie takes aim and is about to hit the jar)
 * Stephanie: Fore!
 * Craig: I thought this was stage 2.
 * Stephanie: Craig, shut up.
 * (Stephanie swings the golf club and hits the jar and it smashes into her bedroom window)
 * Stephanie: Hole in one!
 * Craig: Steph, that's more than a hole.
 * Stephanie: Oh, chill. It can be mended. Let's see if the jar smashed.
 * (George, Stephanie and Craig enter Stephanie's bedroom and see the jar on the floor, still in one piece)
 * Stephanie: Damn it.
 * (cut back to the beach and Stephanie is struggling with a giant hammer)
 * Stephanie: *Groans* Guys, a little help.
 * George Jacqueline: I got you, Steph.
 * (George holds onto the hammer too and Craig grabs onto it, but hangs onto it)
 * Stephanie: For *Groans* stage 3, we're gonna smash the jar with this giant hammer.
 * George Jacqueline: *Groans* OK. Hold tight, Craig!
 * Craig: What?
 * (All three lift the hammer and smash it onto the jar, then they all fall back and George lands on Craig)
 * Stephanie: Ahh. George, are you OK?
 * George Jacqueline: I'm fine. I landed on Craig.
 * Craig: *Muffled* George, is it night time already? Because, I can't see anything but darkness.
 * Stephanie: One thing I can't see is the pickle jar.
 * George Jacqueline: Wait... it's in the sand. Hopefully open?
 * (George pulls the pickle jar form out of the sand, still in one piece)
 * Stephanie: Oh, come on!
 * (cut to George, Stephanie and Craig hiding behind the house and Stephanie has an AK-47 in front of her)
 * Stephanie: OK, for stage 4, we're gonna shoot it with an AK-47.
 * Craig: Erm, Steph... I think we need 46 more. You've got one, but we need 47.
 * Stephanie: Craig, what are you talking about?
 * Craig: It's called an AK-47, man. You have one, so we need 46 more.
 * Stephanie: Craig, the 47 means 1947, the year it was first made. Whatever, let's open fire.
 * (Stephanie takes aim and shoots multiple bullets at the jar, which bounce back and head towards her, George and Craig and they duck)
 * Craig: Woah!
 * George Jacqueline: Probably shouldn't have used too many bullets.
 * Stephanie: Maybe not. Let's see if it...
 * (they look at the jar and it's still in one piece)
 * (cut to George in Lambert and the jar is in front of him)
 * George Jacqueline: Steph, what do we need Lambert for?
 * Stephanie: Stage 5 - running over the jar with your car.
 * George Jacqueline: Oi! No one rhymes, but me!
 * Stephanie: Like, whatever. Now, go on, let her rip!
 * (George accelerates Lambert and runs over the pickle jar, but tips over and lands upside down)